What's in Your Emotional Suitcase?

Do you have a child who drives you crazy? Does your child continually annoy you?  No, probably not.  But, do you annoy YOURSELF when you don't show them the grace and love that God shows you?   

A simple daily activity like math can be a reminder of the fear of failure you felt as a child.   Sometimes we snap and bite at our kids not because they deserve it, but because we have unresolved anger and bitterness that is triggered by something they do.  Our own hurts are hurting our children and their children... and their children.

It is critical that we “come clean” of the hurts and hostilities that still live within us. The things that we’ve done or had done to us are not who we are and they don’t have to continue to cloud our world . If we allow ourselves to accept that God is “crazy about us” then we can truly forgive those who may have caused us emotional damage. Jesus came that we may have life “to the full,” not to the half. Don’t let him take over half you heart, give it all to him.

How can you let go of hurts? Hurts like abuse, rape, feelings of inadequacy, or a lack of love from parents or a spouse.   Some of us may need to seek out a Christian counselor to get deeper into the root of our problems.  Some may not even know they have hurts affecting their behavior.  Here is one way to begin the healing process:

• Go to your Father, your Creator, in quiet. Let him search your soul for the roots of bitterness, anxiety, anger or fear. 
  
• Ask God to show you what needs to be let go. 
  
• Listen with paper and pen in hand. Write down what comes to your head. Write until nothing else comes. 
  
• Read that list.  (If it is too weighty for you alone, seek a counselor.)
  
• Face what is on it.  Forgive and let yourself be forgiven!
  

These are the things you don’t want to pass on to your children. But, sadly, we contaminate our kids lives with the things we carry around, like old luggage full of clothes that don’t fit. Those old things don’t benefit us and they damage the love between parent and child.

We must also forgive ourselves for not making the most of all of our opportunities. Every day is an opportunity and every opportunity a chance to shine for God. Perhaps we are pushing our children to be who we feel we are not.

People are not perfect, God IS perfect. The love of Christ is perfect. It surpasses anything we can imagine, but we can feel it and know it deeply and in a healing way.

Proverbs 14:10
“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.”

God is crazy about you! 

How do we know? 

God wants us to know truth. 

He is incapable of lying. 

This is what Your God says (paraphrasing mine):

John 3:16

“For God SO LOVED the world

• (you and every person in it)
  

that he sent his only begotten Son

• (the Word, present at the time of creation, who changed form to become human and experience our every temptation)
  

so that whoever believes in Him

• (accepts his gift of love, trusts him in their every moment)
  

will not perish

• (nothing can take you away from him)
  

but have eternal life.

• (an abundant life which gets more incredible day by day, and even improves at death, when we come into the the light radiating from a God so holy and loving that we will be overcome with joy and completeness.)
  

Talk with your children.  Ask for their forgiveness for times when you've been unjust. Don’t invite them into all the hurt and restate it for them, just let them know you had some troubles and that Jesus sets us free because he shows us how to forgive.  Your kids are not your enemy.   Satan is your enemy and he'll use whatever bitterness is left in you to pass misery onto future generations.  

You have the keys to that jail cell, now let yourself out!

****************************************************

Inspired by "The Mentoring Mom: 11 Ways to Model Christ for Your Child" by Jackie Kendall. I highly recommend this book to all who want to show your children a pattern that leads to a life walk with God.

Last Minute Soup.. House Bound

It’s the day after Christmas and all through the house,
We’re going nowhere, the Midwest has been doused.

The snow has been falling
The rain’s freezing too.

If you want to go somewhere,
The Midwest’s not for you.

We were off to Grandmas,
but the Toll Road was closed,

No present swapping,
the kids were morose.

Now it’s dinner time and I’ve got cooking to do.
No Grandma meal for us now,
What’s on hand just will do.
***********************************************

I read a funny “dinner disaster” post by my friend Gina that discussed her challenging Christmas Eve. It was just before dinner and it reminded me that all of us have our own way around the kitchen. Gina is a freezer queen. She pre-makes, defrosts and has each meal for her large family easily at her finger tips. It is inspiring. I advise you read her blog, she’s a homeschooling, master-mom.

Over here, a little south, I’m a little more relaxed. So, I thought I’d share how I come up with dinner using a completely different method.


I spy an onion half, on the counter, I never put it away after lunch.
In the fridge lives a pot of vegetables. My family will groan if they recognize it, again.
We had roast chicken for Christmas. There’s about half of it left. Pull it off the bones.
I open the pantry and a bag of noodles, shoved in the bottom, falls out on my foot.
We hosted a Christmas party a while back.
Nobody eats celery sticks but me and the baby.
An open bottle of white wine remains in the bottom of the fridge door.

While playing the piano for my toddler this afternoon, he left and “chopped” up the loaf of bread that was on the counter.

So, that’s our dinner...

Fill the pot 1/2 full with water.
Chop the onion and the celery.
Dump the chicken and the wine.
Crunch the noodles before putting in a few handfuls.
Add some color with the veges.
Poultry seasoning and chicken base.

Ah! Croutons!
Put the mashed bread in a bowl,
Pour oil, sprinkle italian seasoning and garlic salt.
Bake.

Write this blog while the soup boils.
(Husband saves croutons while I forget about them and announces the the soup is done.)

A great dinner.
Chicken soup with homemade croutons.

Time to eat!

Skype discovery!

We’ve discovered Skype and are calling each other from upstairs to downstairs. I’m downstairs eating chocolate and talking to my family on their laptop upstairs. My three-year-old will be down soon, because he now can SEE that I’m eating chocolate.

I’d move to protect it, but it’s hard to pry my wrists off the laptop pad to actually see each other...


..... Oh... I think I can do it! No. It’s just too hard. More vultures are coming to steal my chocolate. It’s better than being alone. And, what if I ate it all myself. I’d just have to spend more time away from them doing Zumba to wear off all that sugar.

Skype is cool. Think of the possibilities. Online book club! That’s where I’m headed. How about craft day with friends who have moved....read a story to your grandchildren from another state.... show exactly how that fudge is made on my last post. 

(Mary... are you reading this???)

Grandma's Fudge - No Marshmallow Allowed!

In the summers while I was still a child, I visited my Grandmother on the east coast. She was a German immigrant and came here to this country at 17.

Things I remember about her include her 5:30 a.m. stolen making binges, and her cooking fudge in a pot on the stove. We always waited to see if the batch was going to “turn out”. I don’t remember any not “turning out”, but I was a kid, not a connoisseur. It was a lucky and smart kid who “helped” grandma in the kitchen, because a lot of fudge stuck to that copper bottom Revereware pot.

Grandma was not a recipe person. I followed here with a notepad once in a while, but there didn’t seem to be any concrete measurements to write down. When she died the recipe seemed lost.

Twenty-five years later, I’m now a candy baking, cookie making expert myself and I’ve discovered a recipe for the “Famous Fudge”. All I could remember about Grandma’s fudge recipe was that no marshmallow fluff ever entered her kitchen. I wanted my fudge to be smooth and silky. None were, until this.....which I’ve aptly renamed “Grandma’s Fudge”

In a medium size pot over low heat combine
1/4 c. light corn syrup
2/3 c. half and half
2 cups of sugar
1 square unsweetened chocolate

(get 1/4 c. butter and 1-2 tsp. vanilla out for later)

Butter the bottom of an 8x8” pan.

Cook over low heat until sugar is dissolved. If crystals are sticking to the side of the pan, cover and let them wash down. You can also keep up on this with a rubber spatula. You don’t want remaining crystals on the side after your fudge comes up to temperature.

Cook to soft ball stage 238 degrees.

Next you'll need

1/4 cup butter

1 tsp. vanilla (you can put more, but I prefer less)

Remove from the heat. Dump the butter on the top and then the vanilla.
DO NOT STIR!!!!!

Let the mixture cool to 110 degrees. Do not let it get lower that this.

The old way.... sit at your kitchen table with a wooden spoon. Call the strongest person in your house and have them stir that pot until the fudge loses its sheen. You’ll know it when you see it. You are adding some air to it.

My new way..... dump that batch of fudge into your Kitchen Aid and let it work! Stir it at low speed until it turns a lighter color brown, losing it’s sheen.
Pour it into the pan and butter your fingers to spread it out to the corners.
This fudge improves with age. I like it best a few days later, that’s the way it was when it came in the mail from Grandma at Christmas!

Merry Christmas from our kitchen.

Grief in the Holiday Season - Hope and Peace

Grief knows no season. Our church offers a “Service of Peace” each year. It’s a quiet time in the middle of the “joyful” Christmas season, where those who may be grieving, lonely, under strain, or just blue, can come to be be encouraged, share communion and sometimes tears together. I am sharing this talk I gave because it may help others whose pain may overwhelm them at this time of year.

Our Christmas season 7 years ago was peaceful. Not the kind of peace you casually send on a Christmas Card, but rather the kind that is there when God is the only one who matters, when he is the eye in the middle of the storm. We were expecting our third child. Our son Ben, was 2 1/2 and our second son, Jonathan, just celebrated his 1st birthday.

Although Jonathan got presents, as other kids did, he also got Neuroblastoma, a rare form of childhood cancer. God always had his hand on Jon. We were thankful that when Christmas approached, Jonathan was recovering from surgery.

Our challenges were just beginning. After telling our doctor what the strange “thing” on Jonathan’s adrenal had turned out to be, he ordered another ultrasound for the new baby. On December 21 we learned that the little girl we were expecting had a diaphragmatic hernia and a slim chance of living. Her little organs were not giving her lungs enough room to grow. We celebrated that year with our unborn daughter, with God and in the quiet, because it was the only Christmas we might have with her.

Jonathan is here today. The “miracle baby” the doctors called him, but our daughter, Elizabeth Joy, didn’t stay here long. Seventeen days after her birthday, the life support machines, the surgery to give her lungs room and all the “miracles” of medicine were not working. We were finally allowed to hold her, because there was not hope. Our beautiful baby girl became lifeless in my arms. A body with no soul. I understood the fact that she was God’s and not mine, and I was understanding that I was God’s and not mine.

God carried us through that year. The next January, we were expecting our fourth child. Still recovering from Elizabeth’s death and her first birthday nearing. The trauma continued, in April, our ultrasound revealed a lifeless body. I came near death, hemorrhaging while delivering a little boy that we already knew was gone.

Through life, there may not be one defining moment. Life is a walk with God. In a world where sin, sickness and death still torment us. How can we find peace? What is it?

It begins with obedience and is found in letting go... denying yourself.. as Paul said.

Denying ourself is to deny the things in our lives that are inconsistent with the glory of God and the highest good of others. It is to let go of self. It meant that I could not spend the rest of my life mourning. Denying myself meant to reach out to others in my situation, teaching them how to survive and to walk with God, yet I was also preaching to myself.

Are you wondering what you have done to deserve suffering, or why God allows it if he loves us? I challenge you to let go of those questions and to refocus on the greatness of God, The better question to ask is....what the condition of your relationship with Him?

I do understand your need for questions. There were months when the world was a foreign place to me. I didn’t know what to ask anymore. God seemed silent. For many months, all it seemed I could do in prayer was hold my hand out, reaching for help from God. The enemy was working hard to keep me down. I came to a point when I knew that for the good of my family, I could not stay in this place. I needed to know what God’s will was for me in all this. I found these verses that were so simple, that I adopted them as my map from god. I repeated the following verses daily to myself and shared them with others who were hurting. Only a person in complete grief themselves can tell others drowning in grief these words.

2 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Be joyful.... always
Pray continually
Give thanks.... in all circumstances
THIS IS GOD’S WILL FOR YOU IN CHRIST JESUS.

My eyes have continued be opened so has my understanding of peace. I could stand here for days and tell you the miracles I’ve seen God do since then in the lives of others, but mainly in me. Things that would not have happened if I had not discovered how passing life is.

When I prayed for wisdom about what I could share with you tonight, in so little time. I sat in silence, waiting for wisdom. A word came, then another. I wrote them down one by one. Sometimes we question that God has given us clear words, but when I studied each word, I saw God’s hope and peace in them. The show how I have rearranged my life and understanding in this way so that no circumstance will be able to steal my peace.

The first was pre-empting, a strange word, I thought as I looked it up. It meant “To take for ones-self”. To let God replace the hurt and confusion we live in with His wisdom. God wants us to be his, wholly and undividedly, His. It also means reconsideration of who we are. We were created wholly for fellowship with God. He is to be THE priority, not a priority.

I find peace and purpose in knowing why I’m here.

The second word was all-sustaining - The Creator of Life carries us. He “supports us from below”. The Maker of the universe cares about our every need and promises that if we seek Him first, he will provide all.

Peace is born again when I relax in his arms.

Third word, re-generating - The Master reshapes us. With each person we love the volume of our hearts grow. When my child died, it left a gaping hole it seemed nothing could fill. It was the space God was looking for to move in.

We find peace when we invite him to fill that.

The fourth and last word was overflowing - For many, peace comes from knowing. I was on a desperate search to know, why? When I needed to fill the painful holes in my heart. I began to flood myself with the things of God. I read about God, I journaled and I prayed. I am still amazed at what happened. God is so generous. He never stopped giving and I never stop asking.

I pray that in your sadness, grief and questioning that the

Pre-Empting

All-Sustaining

Re-Generating

Overflowing

God of Peace
would be your answer.

Fear in the Night

Howling wind and crackling house,

Feet shuffling like a mouse

Too my bedside coming near

In a little whispering voice I hear

“Mom, I’m scared

can you sleep wiff me?”

A storm is hard when you’re only three

Made to be loved

I pull him near

Awoken from sleep, 

he’s filled with fear

Together we seek the Father’s face

The generous giver of comforting grace

In the name of Jesus “Fear, go away!”

This is how in the night, we pray

Laundry 101: Sharing Life and Laundry

When Kid #2 arrived, laundry became like the plague at our house.   It seemed long ago, but I knew I had to get  grip on it all.  I tried putting a basket in each kid's room, but then I had to re-sort that into the color groups every time I needed a load, and I had a mess on the floor.   With younger kids, there is no advantage to this system, since you do it all anyway!  Fortunately, they grow up and eventually, become useful.  Helping can start as early as age three (don’t be picky) and complete autonomy can be achieved by age 9 (plus or minus a year for some).

To some, our laundry management system may seem a dull topic, but for those drowning in laundry despair, perhaps a new idea will offer you a glimmer of light.  I remember a time, not to many years ago, when I felt overwhelmed and laundry just seemed to put me over the edge (or it could even have been at the root of it all).   

When we added the third child, we also upgraded the washer that came with our home to a large front loader.  A big washer makes a big difference!  In these tough economic times, it may not be so easy to upgrade, but it also could be a time when you could get a deal you can’t pass up!   

These days, laundry goes pretty smoothly.   Our boys are 10, 8 and 3 so they are active helpers.  Here’s how we manage it:

• We have sacrificed a corner of our room, but you can choose any place that three tall sorting bins fit.   
• We have these three bins together with a sign over what goes in each, dark, warm for lighter colors, and whites.  
• Everybody puts their own things in to the proper bin.  
• Each morning, one child takes the first load down.  He just has to fill a basket from the fullest bin.  
• Between our class subjects, I pick a child to “rotate” the laundry,  meaning move from washer to dryer or dryer to basket.  
• Once its in the basket,  a child who is strong enough to carry it up, takes it.  
• During the afternoon, we have a laundry “party”.  We all fold, stack and put away that day’s loads until it’s done.  

If you have room, your kids can be turned out with their own with their own three bins and they then become completely responsible for their own laundry.  No matter what method you choose, a routine and involving your kids is essential to success.  They wear the clothes and they must help the family.  I have one son whose big on rewards, but when it comes to laundry, I simply reply, “You get to wear them, you get to wash them. You may choose not to, but you will either be cold or will eventually smell pretty bad.”  

Training is essential.  Give them each a job according to their skill level and insist that no one is excused until the job is done.  Your goal should be for them to be completely self-sufficient (eventually).  I don’t believe that allowing piles and a lack of order should be allowed in their room either.  They need to have standards for themselves and to know basic hygiene principles. Your sanity and their independence are important!  

Make it fun!  Laundry can be a fun time to put on some music and enjoy each other’s company.  Set a timer and see how many baskets you can get done in 20 minutes.  

If you have great laundry tips, PLEASE take a moment to comment below.   I’m not an expert, only a survivor.  

Blessings to you! Anne

Real Hot Cocoa: My Shortcut Just in Time for Sledding Season

Snow season! Yeah! Here in Northern Indiana we’ve already had a 9” snow fall and more will come tonight.  

Here’s a quick view of our yard last week.  

It’s reading season, time to stay in and get some schoolwork done in the morning.  Afternoons are a great time for a group read on the couch with a fire and...

In honor of this beautiful time of year to be a family, I’m sharing my new Hot Cocoa Tip with you.   We’re cocoa snobs and those little packets that you add water too are going to pale in comparison with what you can do, for less, and better.   We use regular unsweetened cocoa and the recipe on the side of the Hershey’s can.  Here’s the problem we were having.  Often we’d make a batch and have leftovers, which if you’re short on milk, may keep you from a great cup with your afternoon read.

Here’s how I’ve solved that....

Hot Cocoa (Make Your Own Syrup Method)

Here are my directions:

In a small saucepan, mix:

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 cup HERSHEY’S Cocoa

Dash salt

1/3 cup hot water 

Stirring with a wisk, mix until thoroughly heated.  

Let this mixture cool and stir in the 3/4 tsp. vanilla.  

Keep in a small container in your pantry.  Don’t add the milk until you are ready to use.  Then, just pour a little of your homemade syrup into a cup of hot milk.  It can be toddler or teen size, but you never make more than you need and you can add as much or as little as you want. 

Peace to your family from ours, Anne

Recipe Feature: Poppy Seed Dressing for Turkey Day!

In 20 years, I’ve only made one bad turkey, a little underdone.  That HAD to be one of the rare years I hosted for my husbands family, so I’m blessed that they are giving me some grace and venturing to our house again.  Needless to say, I’ll be up early tomorrow.   

I’d love to hear if anybody is doing anything different this year, or about great traditions you have.  We’re starting something new this year, a conversation starter bowl.  Everybody was asked to come with three questions that would not come up in our usual conversation.  Personally, I hope to get to know our family better and give my kids some history to look back on.   They always have questions, so with guidance, it could be good.  

To get you into the cooking spirit, I’m going to share my poppy seed dressing recipe with you.   It uses raspberry vinegar, which is available in most grocery stores and that gives it a nice fruity flavor.

Poppy Seed Salad Dressing

In a shaker, combine the following:

1 1/2 tsp. onion juice or finely grated onion (a lemon zester works well)

1/3 c. white sugar (I’ve tried honey, but it complicates the raspberry flavor)

1/3 c. White Balsamic Raspberry Blush Vinegar (or other fruity vinegar)

3/4 c. light olive oil or salad oil (I mix the two)

1/2 tsp. dry mustard

1/2 tsp. salt

1 Tbsp. poppy seeds

Choose your favorite greens and try some of these toppings or your own favorites with the dressing just before serving:

Mandarine oranges and/or strawberries

Slightly chopped pecans

Raisins

Sunflower seeds

Pine nuts

Onions

2 Corinthians 9:8

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

Discipline - What Is It Teaching Our Children? Part 1

After the day I had today, trying to bake ahead for Thanksgiving, fitting in a good amount of schoolwork in the morning and delegating housework in the afternoon, the only topic on my mind tonight is DISCIPLINE.   We all need it, some wonder where it went, some aren’t sure they’ve ever done any, but overall, without it, chaos rules and kids run amok.  

Over the years I’ve been to some great conferences and listened to a lot of speakers on this subject.  I’ve read books from Creative Correction, by Lisa Welchel, to the collection of James Dobson’s books.  Everybody’s got an opinion on this subject.  A meeting of the mom-minds while kids play is another great source of information, just be sure to pick moms whose kids seem to be more disciplined than yours do before you adopt their methods.  Another thing to consider when taking parenting advice, is the faith of the giver.  Some discipline purely from a behavioral standpoint while others have the goal of great character in their vision.  Character is key, but for the Christian child, learning to imitate Christ is the ultimate disciplinary vision.  I’m writing this as I am formulating my own list of consequences (visible on a chart) for my kids.  

These things are not punishments, but grooming techniques.  I’ve heard that the punishment ought to fit the crime, but the “crime” is really a weakness your child is struggling with.  Of course, I could also say it is a weakness I’M struggling with.   Each time the child misbehaves, the cause of the misbehavior should be analyzed before the re-training begins.  Anyway,  in the next few weekss I will be working on a chart (that I will publish) that shows ways to combat heavy problems of discipline and respect with faith and character building techniques.  

Before you read that, think about what discipline is, Jesus had disciples, who followed him, learning from him.  When I looked up the word discipline on Websters it had over 12 variations of meaning, but one was thought provoking, “a branch of knowledge or teaching”.   A follower of a movement or philosophy is a disciple.  So, we are not teaching behavior, we’re teaching kids to evaluate why things are important.  The ultimate goal is for them to know believe that you are teaching them good things for a good reason.   Although you may feel like it at times, you aren’t just the neighborhood nag.  (Today I could really empathize with that.)  No, you are a chief engineer and developer of a future nation of passionate disciples who follow something to somewhere for some reason.  Now, wouldn’t it be wise to know what the something was, where it was going and why you’re doing it?  It’s also a lot easier to stick with a method of discipline if you are convinced of those three things.  I’ve certainly tried discipline methods that I was not convinced were from a source worthy of my time or attention, but desperate parents do those kinds of things.  

I will pre-advise you that my discipline chart will not be just a number of spankings or minutes in the corner for a certain offense.  It will be meant to inspire you (and me) to be the mentor  our children need to know why we behave as Jesus commanded (and mom, when they don’t know enough about that).  Stay tuned.  I am anxious to share my methods of inspiring discipline with you as you learn to seek truth instead of punishment. 

If you have great ideas that have produced great kids, please feel free to email me with them.   There’s nothing like sharing our experiences and learning from one another.  

Blessings, Anne

Crap In, Crap Out: Getting More of God Into Your Family Life

Phillipians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

There are many people who don’t think they need the body of Christ to have faith, but this blog is to share how important it is to knit faith into our everyday conversation and to surround ourselves with people who encourage us to greater levels of understanding about what God expects for us.  Knitting is one of my hobbies.  While showing a friend my latest hat project I was talking to her about why I was using wool and that, even though it is a little itchy, it holds up better and repels more water than cheaper yarns.   We are both visual people so I was telling her about my favorite knitting book, Knitting Rules, by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, It doesn’t dwell on counting stitches, but rather says, “Just hold the hat up to your head and knit until it covers an ear, then change to stockinette stich.”  That’s my paraphrase.  I knit a few stitches on this hat while she browsed through the book and read a phrase aloud, “Crap in, crap out.”  

Later that evening, we were talking about life and ways that we could work talking about our faith into our kids lives.  The verse above, Phillipians 4:8 came up.   If you have taken note of what Jesus says in the Bible, he’s really concerned about how we live our lives, right down to our thoughts and our minds.  What we let into our world, put before our eyes and allow ourselves to hear all make up who we are.   This single passage can change your life if you get that’s it’s really saying just what my knitting book said, “Crap in, crap out.”  If we allow things that are not praiseworthy to fill our time, if we let our kids be influenced by things that don’t fit what is pure, lovely and admirable, what can we expect will come out of them?  

As parents, we wonder why kids make bad decisions.  They are kids! A popular answer, but that isn’t the excuse that fits as they mature and learn to make decisions about their actions.  We all make mistakes, but the skills needed to test and approve what God wants for us is rooted in this passage Paul wrote (Phil. 4:8 again).  

One good example of input we talked about was television.   Have you ever wondered what makes your kid tick?  Sometimes we just don’t know our kids, nor how they think and what appeals to them about what they do.  Pick a show your kids watch that they are smitten with.  Take a half hour to sit down with your child and watch it with them.  While your watching, ask your child questions about what they like about that show.  Why does it appeal to them.  Conversely, interject some things you notice like, “Gee, they sure put a lot of emphasis on what people wear.  It’s too bad they don’t understand that God wants us to value what’s on the inside more than what’s on the outside.”  Get the picture.  Continue this narrative as you watch t.v. together.   Believe it or not, God can work through you and your kids will wake up to the “Crap in” principle.  I know of many kids that ultimately choose to eliminate that show from their list of life activities.  (If after a few times, they don’t, you may cut it out, explain why and then move on to joint analysis of another show, pointing out common themes.)  With the information you’ve gained, you may find a more positive substitutions that encourage their interests.  

I encourage you to print out Phillipians 4:8.  Just click on the verse for a link to Bible Gateway.  Here you can read any version of the Bible at any time!  It’s the antithesis of “Crap in”.  Cut it out and tape it to your television.  In fact, tape verses all over your walls and door frames to remind you of what God wants your life to be like.  Life is an adventure in joyful living when you adopt this motto for your family, “God in, God out.” 

The Mission Statement and God's Position on Your Board

If you have any MBA graduates or management types in your family, you may hear talk of a mission statement.  It’s a vision for the company they are leading.  Every board has to decide on a vision for the organization they are directing.  Why?  It’s not a new concept.  In fact, it was God’s idea long before it was taught in any management school or seminar.  Solomon said it in the book of Proverbs, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.”  Other ways of saying this include, “If you don’t now where you’re going, it doesn’t matter which direction you will go.”  “You’re going nowhere, fast.”  “Where there is no direction, there can be no progress toward it.”

In light of this great wisdom, many companies have formed large organizations and profited by keeping true to their mission.   Is work the only place you need to have a vision?  

God has a mission.  In Matthew 28 Jesus, the greatest visionary and leader in unconventional wisdom of all time, said this to those he led,

“I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations,^[b^] baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

His disciples knew their mission, and because of it they did more than obey, they lived their mission and they died for it.  They did it understanding the guarantee of their leader.  In my words, 

“Introduce them to me, show them my nature and who I am.  Show them what it is like to follow me by your example.  Bring them into our family and have them confess their allegiance to my way by having them stand before men and state it in public.  I’ll reward them by cleaning up the mess they’ve made of their lives, show them that living for Me is like taking a bath in clean water.  The difference is that one washing is all it takes.  Don’t worry, no matter what happens when you follow my lead, I’ll be with you, forever, always.” 

So, your family is important to you, right?  Some people put God first, but most would put family first or second.     If family is a priority, why give the development of your family less intentional thought than your job?  Do you have a vision for your each of your children’s lives?  Do you know where you are heading in your leadership of their lives?  Each one of them is unique, and made for a different purpose.  Do you know what it is?  Most of us just wonder, but the reality is, that this knowledge is available through God!

The reason I stated above that Jesus is the ultimate visionary is that he did nothing that did NOT fit into his mission statement.  Everything he is about is for the mission he was sent to do.  He intentionally picked a bunch of difficult people to do his work and patiently waited for them to “get it”.   Are you one of those people who still needs to get it?  

God gives us kids and tells us to “train them up in the way that they should go, and they will not depart from it.”   If you have a mission for your company, which is lower on the list, do you have one for your family? 

When you look into their future, what do you want them to become?  Sometimes this question leads people to stress about college funds or academic achievement, but in the scheme of life with God, do you have a vision for them?  I guarantee that God, their designer does.  He knows why he gave them their personality and their gifts.  How will you know this if you don’t seek God and ask him to show you what it is?  The real mission God has for every Christian is the same one Jesus left for his disciples.  Show them how to KNOW me.  Show them how to SERVE me.  Reveal to them who I am, so they can blossom and be who I created them to be.  

Great leaders are charismatic.   The fire they have spreads to those around them.  We all lead by our example, but where are you leading them TO.  Are you showing your kids Christ by your choices and daily activity?  Kids are smart, intuitive, gifted and if you have passionate faith, they will catch it!  Sadly, many of us take our kids to church, trust the Sunday School leaders to “educate” them in God’s ways, but nothing in our daily life is any different than our neighbor’s because of Christ.  No one will catch anything from you that you don’t have, not even your kids. 

Do you want to raise kids who know Christ, or who just know ABOUT Christ.  Eventually, someone may tell them about what Jesus did for them, maybe on a street corner as they hand them a tract.  Do you want to leave them to this fate?  YOU have the opportunity to put Christ, the only way to real peace and joy (not to mention heaven), right IN FRONT of them for 18 years before the world gets them and sees your handiwork.  What are you doing? 

Spend time in prayer and do more listening than talking, then write down what matters to you, and whether that Christian title is talk or a LIFE you intend to live.  Trust me, your kids know the difference. 

What do you want to be when you grow up?

What do you want for your children as they grow into adulthood? When you envision them in the future how do you see them? As a Christian homeshooling family, the vision we have for our children's future affects everything we do, every book we read, what we choose to learn, every show we watch and every decision we make about how to spend our time.

A year ago, after I had spent time in prayer seeking what God wanted for my oldest son, I wrote this letter to him. He's 10 now and nearing the time when he may be ready to read it. Here is my faith prayer for my son. (I omitted the name so you could more easily envision your own child as you read it.)

My Dear Son,

As you develop into the person God created you to be, I pray you would open your heart to God's leading in every moment, that your will and your attitudes would be in submission to the LORD. As we learn together daily about the way God has directed life on our earth and every movement of every atom, may you know his plan for you is more than you can ever imagine it to be. It's bigger than the biggest idea you've ever had. Your talents have more potential than you will ever use, because we are so limited by our own lack of vision and true faith.

Now I see you serving God each day in your heart, but stumbling over small things as you get to know yourself. You were fearfully and wonderfully made, Son. There is no mistake in any part of your creation. As we spend each day together I hope to help you find out how to maximize your potential to do great things for God.

Through prayer, I hope you will quiet yourself to listen, and not always be talking.

Through solitude, I hope you will find a place to calm your soul and your
emotions.

Through scripture, you will fill yourself with the knowledge of what God has done and what he will do and with the passion God has placed inside you.  You will fill the world with joy and ignite a vision for what God can do in the lives of others.

Through serving others, you will be the hands and feet of Christ and know the greatest fulfillment, more than any gadget or toy can bring. I know you know that already, for I've seen you sacrifice something easily when you learn it will not please God or help you become closer to him.

When you face trials, you'll remember the struggles we shared daily and our talks about how just putting a foot forward and taking a step in faith will change every circumstance and help you bring your thoughts back into the obedience of Christ.

Prayer should be a continuous conversation with God. With your every thought, may you walk side-by-side with Him through His spirit. Spend your every moment in continuous conversation with God and you will always hear his voice. When you face the trials that will perfect your faith, face them on your knees with his Word in front of you. Don't let Satan's lies cloud who you really are. Believe in what God will do through you, even when you have tears blinding you.

God gave you to me for a short while. My job was to guide you and love you. To show you that an imperfect mom can love you a lot, but not nearly as much as the one who planned every atom of your being and every desire of your heart. Every day you grow and move closer to God as your guide and further from me.

What will you be like as an adult? I pray you will know who God created you to be so that your gifts will be a blessing to the world. Whatever you do, may you always know that loving people is important over all other things. Money is a blessing and a responsibility. If you strive for it, don't do it out of a lust for things, but out of a lust to give it away. God says we are to enjoy life, but the greatest joy is in seeing people connect with God and find their place with him. You will be able to show them that steadfast faith. Your faith will overcome the thorn you struggle with, because God is able to do all things and you'll believe that.

Love, Your Mom
*********************

You are welcome to adopt my prayer for my child for your own child. I encourage you to pray for wisdom to recognize the unique passions and gifts God has put into your child, for they are the key to seeing what he or she may become. As you come to better understand your child's unique personality and gifts, you can direct him or her in how to use them to bless the world and write them their own prayer letter. This letter is to my oldest. This would not be the same letter I'd write to my other children, who have their own unique passions and abilities. They each bring their own unique joy to my life and I love them all.

Bless Your Children Daily - It worked in the Bible!

Tonight I was the sole parent and, as usual, was looking forward to my quiet time. The three-year-old was put to bed first. After that, I went into the older boys room and we read about how Gideon was to defeat the Midianites. God told Gideon to reduce his army of 22,000 down to 300. Sounds like something a democrat would do, hey? Anyway, God wanted to be sure that it was well known that He was the one who gave Gideon the victory, it was not of themselves. I then gave them 10 minutes to play a game on their MP3 player and went into the hall. I could hear a voice coming from the 3-year-old's room. I went in to start his music box to get him to sleep and he said, "Mom! I'm talking to God!" Of course, I told him he could do that as long as he wanted, and left the room.

In the hall, I thought about this child and his faith journey. Before we had him (between child 2 and 5), we watched a daughter walk home with Jesus and then lost another baby before Jack zoomed into our lives. Through those years, I sought God's wisdom daily, hourly, trying to make sense of the tragedies that seem to be attracted to us. When Jack arrived, he was perfect. I was thankful and knew he was like the Joseph of the 21st century. I'd guess Joseph was potty trained, but there are some similarities anyway. Throughout the Bible, God records people blessing other people. Blessings were a powerful and sought after possession, and also had permanent ramifications for the ones who got, and the ones who failed to get. Sadly, as parents, we don't have as much wisdom for the first child as we do later on, but Jack came in the blessing phase of my Bible study life, when I'd realized this power. Since the day he was born, I have blessed him every night. I must confess, that in the beginning, my motives as a sleep-deprived, over-nursed, sore mother were to get this kid to sleep, so the blessing went more like this, "Jack, I bless you with tired, heavy eyes, tired arms, heavy legs and a sleepy body. May you rest in peace, quickly, and sleep knowing God is always with you." I got more creative after I got more sleep. These blessings soon became the character traits I wanted each child to have. I bless them with wisdom, a love for learning, compassion for others, great faith in Jesus, love for the others, and leadership abilities.. and good health, of course.

As I stood out in the hall, while Jack was busy talking to God, I promptly re-entered the room of the other boys and told them what I'd been doing for Jack more habitually, and that I wanted to bless them more regularly too. I have certainly blessed them before, but re-committed to doing this for them nightly in addition to our regular prayers. My older kids are great, and as I've prayed for them and watched them develop their gifts I can see a great heart of gentleness and compassion in my 8 year old, and great wisdom and faith in my 10 year old. These are not their only gifts, but I am thankful that tonight I've learned how to give good gifts to my children. Not gifts that plug in, but gifts that turn them on to life and passion for God.

We may know the next president on October 29, 2008

Most people know or have heard what's happening the the polls, but when it comes to accuracy, where do you turn? Those who REALLY want to know whether Obama or McCain will run our country have a highly accurate predictor available to them. It is not a poll of highly educated, politically motivated media manipulators, but rather a group who is manipulated, or rather mentored, by voters themselves, their parents. Capitalization on this unique resource made Bill Cosby rich and famous, Elmo a household name, and it could very well tell us on Wednesday (Oct. 29) who will sit in the Oval office next term. They picked George W. Bush in 2004 and, prior to that, picked who our next president would be in 12 of the 13 elections that preceded.

Using your great powers of intuition and my mediocre skill at foreshadowing, you may know the genius behind this highly accurate poll. It's your children! The Weekly Reader poll taken in schools across America has the highest accuracy of any poll in the nation.

If you are a McCain supporter, what hope do we have when Obama seems to be in the lead? Perhaps we hold out hope for the Bradley effect? The Bradley effect is a theory that may account for poll errors when a white candidate and a non-white candidate run against each other. No matter who you're supporting for president, the sad fact is, that many Americans trust in men before God. Some vote on a moral line. Some vote on the economy. Should we be fearful?

The Bible says that God is sovereign. In fact, the Bible addresses God as "sovereign" 297 times! What does sovereign mean? Websters defines sovereign as a supreme ruler or authority, preeminent, indisputable, and being above all others in character, importance and excellence. Will God override your vote? No, God gave us freedom to make our own choices. There is also no doubt that we, as a nation, are held accountable for our choices. We are responsible for "bringing every thought into the obedience of God." We can pray for the hearts of people to hear God's direction and call for a just and righteous leader. While it is important to show love in our ministries, we are also directed by God to speak up for truth instead of hiding behind a fear of offending others.

I hope that you will not take MY advice on who to vote for. I don't presume to be sovereign. I do challenge you to closely examine each candidate and decide which one is "erecting barriers against the truth of God." (see 2 Corinthians 10:5 below) If we seek first the kingdom of God, He promises that all these things will be added unto you. Question this? Track the Israelites throughout their history. With God all things are possible. Change the emphasis on the "with" instead of the more common "all" and you'll find the impact of this verse changes dramatically. Who is our god if we choose to put money first? The economy first? Who are we putting our trust in?

How many people care to know the "truth of God?" I hope you are one of them. While America will have to face the consequences of electing either candidate, personally, we are accountable for our thoughts and actions... therefore have a stake in working for or against God's purposes in this world.

Verses to ponder....

2 Corintians 10:3-6 (The Message)

3-6The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.

or , if you prefer, the New International Version

2 Corinthians 10:3-6

3For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 6And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.

Update with the full story and details of the results in different states... Obama won, but it was very close in many states.

http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/The-Nations-Students-Pick-Barack/story.aspx?guid=%7BBFCBCCF9-9DD6-4215-B1FE-B2368CCF72FD%7D

Obama - Your Tax Dollars at Work!

Every once in a while I get the Jimmy Buffet craze. My favorite song is "Fruitcakes." Jimmy Buffet and Obama have something in common, a cult-like following. Buffet appeals to people who just need more vacation time and sometimes, a little Buffet fix can restore them before they have to face the seriousness of the world.

Now, Obama, he's got a following too. In fact, if you listen to people polled in the streets on NPR, you'll hear things like, "I know he's going to be a terrible president, but I'm probably going to vote for him anyway." When God made man, he gave us many gifts. One of them was passion and vision. Barack Obama has a vision, but what is it? It seems to attract people like flies to sticky paper. (Doesn't that say it all?)

Back to Buffet, there's a bit of wisdom about the world gone wrong in the world of Fruitcakes. Jimmy Buffet talks about some things we really value in America, like freedom of choice.

"I don't want other people thinking for me!"

and on government....

"speakin' of fruitcakes, how 'bout the government? Your tax dollars at work."

This is a close race for President and until now, I was down on Obama and up on McCain, but now I'm downright terrified of Obama (and still up on McCain). There are no words to better explain the reason for this fear than Senator Obama's words as he addressed the Planned Parenthood organization, and I quote, "Well, the first thing I'd do as president would be to sign the Freedom of Choice act." If you've never heard of it, here's the view from the horse's mouth with a few facts added in.





I know there are many on-the-fence Americans when it comes to the topic of "Freedom of Choice". It's called abortion by those less "politically correct" and more truthful, but when it comes to "our tax dollars at work", I certainly don't want to be guilty of funding this American catastrophe. Even if you're a "waffler", not sure whether abortion should be considered in some circumstances, do you want government deciding whose abortions YOU FUND! Do you want them deciding whether you are informed when your little girl makes a decision before she's even old enough to vote for Obama?

If you read this before election day, please help bring to light the incredible "audacity" of this man so he has no "hope" of winning this election. Send the link to your family, friends and people who don't want these types of decisions made for YOU by the government.

Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

McCain or Obama to Address Homeschooling?

Hello ?? Is anybody listening? Is Mike Huckabee the last person in this election to mention homeschooling rights? I've checked with the official websites, with the blogs and heard the speeches, but nowhere do I find reassurance that we can count on either one of these candidates to respect the rights of parents to homeschool their children.

I've emailed John McCain and will next email Mr. Obama. A fellow blogger "spunkyhomeschool" wondered with me. Where is our representation? Perhaps they don't want to add one more issue to an already crowded debate, but I can't pity them for that. How many homeschoolers would it take to have an affect on an election? It is not easy to count the number of homeschooling families in America. The Institute for Educational Sciences estimated there were 1.1 million children homeschooled in 2003, five years ago. The numbers grow continually as parents' choices of curriculum and options increase and their wariness of public, institutional indoctrination in our schools grows stronger. Could that change the outcome of an election? Perhaps the popular vote.. I remember a close call in the last election. Can you say "recount"?

Comments welcome and information would be appreciated. Leave me a link if you find an answer. Who will be the first to commit to voting for homeschooling in America, McCain or Obama?

Update: 10/22/08

Here's an article telling what an Obama education looks like. The title of the article "Homeschooling Will Explode Under Obama" simply meant that if this is what education looks like under Obama, homeschooling will greatly increase. Connect to the article to see what a "social justice school" is and more interesting views on education mixed with social issues.

Homeschool with Confidence: The Yearly Vision

Throughout an ordinary day, there are many conversations you will have with your child. Some familiar ones may be,

"Is your math finished?"
"Yes, Mom."
"Has your room been cleaned up?"
"Yes, Dad."
"How was your day?"
"Good."

Once in a while, you might want to have an actual brain-interfacing, life-connecting, probing conversation with your child. If that dear child attends school out of your home, you probably face a weary person at the end of the day who just wants to be in control of their time when they get home. All the way home they were probably thinking, "Wow! I can't wait to sit down and have a deep conversation with my Mom or Dad about my character and academic development." Fear not, a listening parent can find opportunities to work in great conversation. Sadly, those moments may not be as often as you desire and for some kids and parents, rare.

The blessing is that we, as homeschoolers, have a little more room to take advantage of these opportunities since we can spend more time interacting with our children. You have the opportunity to initiate fascinating conversations on any subject under the sun -- and you have ALL DAY to do it! The conversation above is still a part of the daily accountability lesson and uses some of our valuable energy, but keep the blessings in mind as all the talking and reading sends you to the secret stash of chocolate chips in the pantry. Let's face it, everyday life is distracting, busy and tiring. It often keeps us from slowing down, listening and parenting with purpose -- in an intentional way.

If you are a homeschooler your kids may be facing a very weary mom at the end of the day. If you don't have great confidence in the plan you've chosen for the year or the day wasn't filled with all the inspiration you'd expected the night before, you may also feel a bit hopeless at the end of the day and perhaps defeated. This has certainly happened to me, but prayer and vision for my kids has put new light on our direction as a family and for me as a leader. I say leader, not just because I'm still the tallest one home all day, but because I have the potential to make change and direct with wisdom, love and of course, complete control at ALL times (don't be defeated at that bit of sarcasm).

To keep myself on a confident path, once each year I spend one to two months revisiting the way I'm leading my kids. It takes that long (or longer). I really believe that only through observing your children, reflecting, praying and waiting can I know how to go on with their education and mentoring. If you haven't found a way to work through your visionary roadblocks, you may want to get out your planner and dedicate some time (alone time is ultimate of course) to a visionary beginning. It can be a few minutes in prayer each night, or a weekend away at a quiet inn. Telling your husband that you need a visionary weekend to assess the success of your efforts and plan for your children's lives is always a good way to get that needed alone time! How could anyone say no to that? When I've found my quiet place, I write down and pray about are:

• How has each child changed or grown over the past year?
• What are their strengths and weaknesses in their academic life?
• What are their spiritual strengths and weaknesses?
• What gifts do I see emerging?
• What is their attitude toward learning, toward faith and life as a whole?
• What have we done that has encouraged them in any area?

What did we let "fall of the map" and are their consequences associated with that?
This is your chance to know that your choices were made for a reason. When chaos strikes, you can "refer to your notes" with confidence that at one time, on one day, you really did seek the Master's plan for how you are living this day, today. I spend time praying for insight about my children, about what the Master has created them for. I pray He would show me what their lives might look like if they used their unique gifts to His full advantage. The Bible says that "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." This tells us that we are created in Christ, he is a full part of who we are now. Your child is not only your child, but Christ living inside your child. How do you lead that? It is a humbling experience. Fortunately, God gives us some tools to communicate with him on how this can be done. We have the Bible to give us great guidelines, but also our senses and prayer to personalize our parenting for each child.

A proverb says "Train up a child in the way that he should go," but there is more to that than teaching them the 10 Commandments, right from wrong and even who their Savior is. It requires probing their heart, entering their mind and exploring their passions! God gave them those things. He is the master with the artists brush! He "equipped them for every good work" and according to Paul's letter to the Ephesians, God prepared us in advance for those works. What your children need to be God's best is already inside of them.

What is "God's best" for your child? That can be an overwhelming task to figure out. Do we want them to be the best in math? -- It wouldn't hurt. Do we want them to be spelling masters? -- My husband has been highly successful without that skill. Perhaps you want your child to be in ministry. Notice a common thread here? "Do we want...." Sometimes we rely on too much human wisdom and knowledge in the choices we make for our children. Have you ever read a great book, but felt left out of certain details that just leave you wondering? The author is only source for those answers. As humans, the author of our being, of each purposefully created soul, is the only one with the answers for the guidance you seek.

So, after the list has been made and the praying has been done, the listening begins. Facing our jobs in an honest way is what makes all great leaders. As parents, we hold the future in our hands and daily wipe the melted chocolate chips, jelly and peanut butter off of "it". With a listening spirit and an intuitive heart you can effectively change the direction of the life of your child. You are now ready to made decisions for your child and can:
Choose a school or curriculum that fits their unique being.
Encourage and provide opportunities for them in their areas of giftedness and passion.
Help them understand their weaknesses and how to work around them.
Provide the level of structure necessary for them to work efficiently to their maximum potential.
The great benefit of parenting this way is that you will find more peace and confidence in your decisions. You will find you are less swayed by the opinions of others because that "page of wisdom" shows you who your child is and is becoming.

A few books that have had an influence in growing my understanding and passion for parenting in this manner have been:
Revolutionary Parenting by George Barna
The Treasure Inside Your Child by Pamela Farrell
A Biblical Home Education by Ruth Beechik