The Year Jack Prayed for Snow

It’s another snow day. The winter of 2011 will be remembered at our house as “the year Jack prayed for snow.” Jack is five now and he has been looking forward to winter since late summer. He is a persistent little fellow and a bit one-tracked. When he started praying for snow in September, we were still mourning the end of summer; when November came, we told him, “It will be a while yet, Jack.” But, Jack prayed, even when it seemed to early. 

I am reminded of the woman, Hannah’s, prayers, recorded in the Bible. She continued to pray and weep to God for a son each year. With tears and pleading, she implored of the Lord to open her womb.  She was willing even to give that child back to God to be set apart, and Samuel was born. Great things happen when we pray.

Perhaps we didn’t give Jack bigger things to pray about and we should have. Jesus said we should have faith like little children and I, motivational mom that I am, told him that if we have even a little faith, we can tell the mountains before us to move and they will. Jack wanted nothing more this year than to see mountains of snow. He’s still short, thankfully, so the mountains he has prayed for have not had to exceed his height, but he’s over three feet now. He began to pray at meal times. When fall began, each time we’d pray, Jack would interrupt and say “... and please let the snow be over my head.” Breakfast, lunch, dinnner, bedtime - Jack interrupted. On the bright side, through correction, Jack has now learned to wait for the pause in prayer before sharing his request, but each time, he added his on the end. 

Winter came - early. We had plenty of snow in November and December this year, and in January we had 53” of snow, the second snowiest month on record. Not yet satisfied, but confident that God was hearing and doing, and with 24” on the ground, Jack persisted. “Lord, please let the snow get higher than this.”  We had had about enough, but we endured his repetitive sentence - at least three times a day. Last night we had a blizzard. Heavy system snow has pelted one-third of the nation. Now, the snow banks are over Jack's head.

I don’t know if any other kids are praying in agreement with Jack around the world, but one thing has happened this year, Jack has gained confidence in prayer, something most adults lack. We’ve read in God’s Word that the angels of children are always before the Father and he has learned to take advantage of it. My oldest boys have been witnessing Jack’s persistence, as have mom and dad. An invaluable seed of faith has been planted in this cold winter. In a season when life struggles to endure amidst harsh conditions, we are watching answers to our own prayers for conviction and faith in our three boys. The world looks different when we pray and trust that God answers our prayers. The world, with faith, is a world where hope never dies and where what we see doesn’t confirm what is real. 

When are we going to believe? Do we toss prayers to God hoping he’ll have pity on us or do we pray with confidence that prayer moves the mountain before us?  Jesus wondered aloud several times at the doubt and lack of belief present around him, even in his disciples. I have been praying for God to heal my unbelief as I commit to prayer this year for those around me. In answer, God put it on my child’s heart to show me how to plead persistently to the Lord for the desires of our heart. Our master said, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” (Mark 11:24) We are humbled at the faith of a child. His eyes sparkle as the snow falls, knowing his God is faithful. Joy in found in answered prayer, in the encouragement of God Most High as he participates in our lives at our asking. No prayer is too complex for a faith this big, for a heart that hasn’t been hardened. 

Abundant Life Homeschooling: Part 1 - Why Consider Homeschooling?

There have been many days as a homeschooling mom where I've felt physically drained and emotionally spent.  I can’t even count how many times I’ve mentioned that I homeschool and heard,  "I just know I could never home school!” I confess that my children have learned a lot but that I have probably learned the most in my five year journey discipling my children.  It is the most effective method of parental refinement I know - in a good way.  There are rewards that can be found no where else but in learning together as a family.

If you have begun the homeschooling journey, fear of failure is NOT a sign that you should start looking for schools. I've felt the same anxiety!  As you read more in this series, you'll see that homeschooling does not have to be a torturous assignment for you or your children every day.  Did you know that God goes before you?  He prepares the way and shares his vision and insights with us.  So, what is YOUR homework?  Your largest and most time consuming task is not choosing the right curriculum, or making sure you meet the state standards or prepare for yearly testing.  No, the key to abundant life homeschooling is spending more time getting to know God intimately and learning to listen to the Spirit who guides you.  When God promised to work all things for the good for those who love him and are called according to HIS purpose, he is FAITHful in providing that.  Don't take my word for it, just start doing it and see what happens.  This is the key to finding joy, restoring joy and living joyfully.  This may not be the world's way of raising children, but note what the Bible says about the world's way:

Romans 12:2 says "Do not conform any longer to the patter of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." 

Did you know that all forms of education have an agenda?  I have an agenda for my kids, but I prefer to call it a vision.  Proverbs 29:18 says, "Where there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint, but blessed is he who keeps the law." Chew on that a bit.... As Christians, the single most important thing we are commanded by God to instill in our children is intimate knowledge of their creator and follow the vision he provides as we live our lives.  If we don't have a vision for our children, how can we expect to know where to aim?

Public education as it exists today (and as it was designed) is motivated by corporate necessity, a need for societal order, a place to provide the poor with basic skills, and to create like mindedness in society.  This is their vision. (Click here for my source and a great online read documenting this.)  Do you trust your children's hearts to a system that truly has a goal of instilling values apart from God's values, not to mention the distortion and selective coverage of history and God's hand in it?  We believe we're sending them to school to learn reading, math and basic skills.  Are you aware that political and social activism have taken the place of Christianity in the schools? Your values have been replaced, questioned, and filtered through the eyes of many others. Check out this recent example.

What about morality? Consider the best a public school can do to teach morality.  They can explain what "good behavior" is, but teaching morals apart from God's word is like brushing your teach every day but not being able to teach WHY you do it.  Habits and behaviors with no reason behind them are insulting to children.  There ARE reasons for morality.   Character does matter. If we want to instill integrity and deep seated faith in our children, then we must show, by our decisions, that we ourselves are going to take a stand in when it comes to 2 Cor. 10:5...

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Demolishing arguments contrary to God's word doesn't mean tolerating it as a necessary evil of education! Fear not, when we are obedient to a call, God showers great blessings upon us! 

Scrapping the Daily List Today

"Seek first the kingdom of God and ALL these things will be added unto you." Matthew 6:33

I’ve come to learn, but not always trust, that if we seek God first in our lives and, specifically, in our day our experience will be better than when we plan our day on our own. Why? Our attitudes change. Our minds are open to His purpose for us. Everything we do reflects the bigger goal and we learn to be who HE has planned for us to be. Ephessians 2:10 says that we were created as God’s workmanship and that He already has things planned for us to do. What do we need to learn to do those things? One gift we have as homeschoolers is the flexibility to allow our kids to follow life according to their passions. Ultimately, our passions motivate us more than any person can.

There are days I trust this and there are days that, although I know this, I panic a bit. I may compare my children’s handwriting to those of their peers and judge them, as if this were the measure God would use to judge their success. The truth is, that to force handwriting when a child is running in another direction is counter-productive to the learning that COULD be achieved if you watched God work and did what he commanded you to do.

I'll show you an example of how a day went that didn't include my forcing my children in a direction against their interests. I did have a list, a neat list of well rounded activities for an entire week for each kid. On it was our study of creation, history, science, Latin, handwriting, math, piano, reading, you get the picture. Here’s how the day really went....

Breakfast... Pancakes. We talked about conserving and rationing as we shared the last 1/4 cup of syrup between us. With our pancakes we listened to one of my favorite hymns of all time on YouTube, “When I Survey the Wonderful Cross”. Next, we grabbed the postcard of the books of the Bible we’re working on memorizing. I’m a bit of an evangelist, so I gave them a pep talk on the importance of knowing what God’s word says, focusing on how science and the world CAN work together with God's word to bring people TO faith and not away from it. After explaining their responsibilities as Christians to lead the world and not follow it’s ways, they ran off and saying they wanted to read their Bible all day.

So, rather than lose them upstairs I got out a selection of new Bible study books for them to pick. They wanted to talk more about evolution vs. creation, so they picked a Kay Arthur for Kids study of Genesis 1-2. In this, I got a discussion in about reading comprehesion (who, what, where, why and when), writing a good title, drawing a picture describing what they understood about the lesson and then we read Genesis 1-2, taking turns reading aloud. It’s now 9:30, we started breakfast at 8:00.

My 10-year-old son is a very passion driven child. I had a choice.. I could stifle his now flaming interest in studying this more by getting math out or ask him where he wanted to go with it. He said he was going to write a paper disproving evolution. (Ambitious I thought, and in faith continued to encourage him.) I know I can learn more when I'm passionate about something, so, therefore, would he. We scrapped the list.

He went to the bookshelf and grabbed books to support his work. I looked at his selections and sat him down to talk about what a hypothesis is, since he was jumping into a large field of study. His eager brain needed a bit of focus and he actually saw it my way! This also led to a discussion of a source list and the importance of multiple sources in a debate. We talked about how debates work and how, if he wants to use this information to lead others to his side he needs to make sure all things point back to the hypothesis.

Now, imagine the difference between a conversation with an interested (even driven) child and one who is being “assigned” something and knows he must do it. Today I was blessed to work with a driven child. His "ADHD" like mind was fully engaged. He continued researching for three hours, listening to guidance as if he knew it would make a difference. For you homeschool moms who have tried to force learning, as I have on occasion, this can truly be a Kleenex moment! (Please note: I am not a believer in labeling kids with ADHD, but use this adjective because it seems to be connected with this driven, passionate personality type and many would medicate my child.)

Meanwhile, I forgot about the 8 year old. I track him down and he’s been reading the Bible aloud to his rabbits and is not ready to stop yet. When he drifts upstairs we get out “Night of the Moonjellies” and enjoy a good story together. We do have a 3-year-old, but at story time he is too busy listening to the Star Wars soundtrack and having adventures with a little one inch Lego man. He takes off.

I made some bread for dinner and put chicken soup ingredients in the crock pot. We had a little lunch and after that watched a video on the forces of water. This is also not on the list, but part of creation. A friend called and invited the kids over. There they spent the afternoon drawing a map of Europe and other imaginary countries. At home, the drawing continued into the evening as I read the last few chapters of “Trial by Poison”, a biographical adventure about Mary Slessor, missionary to the area which is now Nigeria.

I am writing this, because these are my favorite days. Sadly, it wasn't always like this. There have been days I have fallen prey to the incredible societal pressure to do things according to some systematic educational model. I write this to encourage you and myself. God knows what your children need to learn. Seek him first and he will direct your path. There are days I will need to reread this when I feel defeated, when I don’t know how I’m going to accomplish “educating” my children for many more years. Those are the days I've talked to some parents who are worrying about choosing the right curriculum or read an article on getting kids to sit and follow your plan. We must all remember that God knows what they need to know and while intelligent plans can make for good order, sometimes you just need to scrap the plan and open your mind to a way that accomplishes more!

What's It Like To Be Us Today

Did we further our character and grow our faith?

Noticed a "few" attitudes early in the a.m. and got out the Proverbs for Parenting.  Added verses on a love for correction to our daily Bible read aloud, cleaned my house, taught my children, loved my husband, reviewed a Bible study to lead for my church, researched young leaders in the Bible for my husband's church report. 

Prayed for....

my husband, my Compassion Childen, my pastor, my friends, my children, myself, and Baraq Obama, and my littlest - please make him WANT to use that potty.

What happened in the kitchen?

Cereal for breakfast with blueberries and grapes, fried chicken and green beans for lunch, AND two pots of soup in the cold garage to reheat. I’d made an extra cornmeal mix yesterday, so that was ready too! A little planning goes a long way.

How did we learn?

Central America mapwork, read about the Mayan civilization, math, vocabulary with crosswords and sentence writing, cursive and handwriting for all, why do birds molt, Bible first of course - Psalm 23 and those Proverbs - later Timothy. One practiced piano and both read for at least an hour. Is journalling a subject? one asked.

What do we see?

Snow, snow everywhere. We never left the house, but did choose to get dressed today. (Okay, that was MY idea.)  I added a summer memories picture because as I shoveled 14 inches of snow off my back sidewalk I thought of my plants WAY under there.

What do we hear?

Thump, thump, on the basement stairs and a little boy voice, “Mom, I need a wittle help down here.” (How many times today?... 10) Late at night - "Thump" again... the same kid fell out of bed.

Any revelations?

My children really want to be a blessing to others. I must be careful not to sour them with my own attitude. Pour some sugar on it, honey!

Attitude check...

Fixed it early.  Challenged to keep everybody moving and remind them that morning choices have afternoon consequences.  

Laughed at...

A real "Jack" in the box. 

I’m happy that...

I see God in so many things and he blesses our days.  My husband loves God. My children smile a lot more than they did a month ago and snow is so pretty!

I am thankful for...

those who led the homeschooling movement, because without them, I’d miss the hugs, the smiles, the opportunity to hear so many encouraging words today... and the note passing... that was the best today. In school, we got in trouble for notes. Today I saw a note my oldest passed a note to his brother. It said in big letters, “I LOVE YOU JON!”

Mercy in Discipline

I came across an interesting question today by a person who was newer in their faith walk. Because of this, she now had the task of converting her family members. She was trying to use God's word to tell the child how to behave, but the child, not really wanting anything to do with God yet, saw no reason to follow those guidelines. Helping your child "see the light" is not a quick process. It comes from modeling a changed heart, first of all. Here was my suggestion for getting into the heart of the child. I do not do this EVERY time, because children need correction, the Word of guidance and prayer to be firm in their faith. The idea I've posted had a very positive outcome with my own children, so I thought I'd share it.

"Sometimes we try to push Jesus onto people rather than love them to Christ. When I was a new Christian I was pretty zealous and it made people feel guilty and convicted, but NOT loved. Think of loving her to Christ. Show her understanding, like Jesus showed the woman who washed his feet. Show her mercy - sometime when you'd really like to punish her just tell her, "You know, God knows the best way for us to live, and because he loves us he tells us the way to go to be happy. Sometimes we don't choose it. We make mistakes. You know I've made a lot of those and I"m thankful every day that God shows me mercy. I'm showing you mercy today, because I know how it feels to need it. It's not going to happen every time, because I need to teach you how to live God's way. That's my job. But this time. I love you and I forgive you. " I don't think there is a better way to explain God's love for us to a kid who's fearing punishment, punishment like WE ourselves deserve."

(However, I do have high expectations of my kids and expect them to show this mercy to others too.)

Discipline - What Is It Teaching Our Children? Part 1

After the day I had today, trying to bake ahead for Thanksgiving, fitting in a good amount of schoolwork in the morning and delegating housework in the afternoon, the only topic on my mind tonight is DISCIPLINE.   We all need it, some wonder where it went, some aren’t sure they’ve ever done any, but overall, without it, chaos rules and kids run amok.  

Over the years I’ve been to some great conferences and listened to a lot of speakers on this subject.  I’ve read books from Creative Correction, by Lisa Welchel, to the collection of James Dobson’s books.  Everybody’s got an opinion on this subject.  A meeting of the mom-minds while kids play is another great source of information, just be sure to pick moms whose kids seem to be more disciplined than yours do before you adopt their methods.  Another thing to consider when taking parenting advice, is the faith of the giver.  Some discipline purely from a behavioral standpoint while others have the goal of great character in their vision.  Character is key, but for the Christian child, learning to imitate Christ is the ultimate disciplinary vision.  I’m writing this as I am formulating my own list of consequences (visible on a chart) for my kids.  

These things are not punishments, but grooming techniques.  I’ve heard that the punishment ought to fit the crime, but the “crime” is really a weakness your child is struggling with.  Of course, I could also say it is a weakness I’M struggling with.   Each time the child misbehaves, the cause of the misbehavior should be analyzed before the re-training begins.  Anyway,  in the next few weekss I will be working on a chart (that I will publish) that shows ways to combat heavy problems of discipline and respect with faith and character building techniques.  

Before you read that, think about what discipline is, Jesus had disciples, who followed him, learning from him.  When I looked up the word discipline on Websters it had over 12 variations of meaning, but one was thought provoking, “a branch of knowledge or teaching”.   A follower of a movement or philosophy is a disciple.  So, we are not teaching behavior, we’re teaching kids to evaluate why things are important.  The ultimate goal is for them to know believe that you are teaching them good things for a good reason.   Although you may feel like it at times, you aren’t just the neighborhood nag.  (Today I could really empathize with that.)  No, you are a chief engineer and developer of a future nation of passionate disciples who follow something to somewhere for some reason.  Now, wouldn’t it be wise to know what the something was, where it was going and why you’re doing it?  It’s also a lot easier to stick with a method of discipline if you are convinced of those three things.  I’ve certainly tried discipline methods that I was not convinced were from a source worthy of my time or attention, but desperate parents do those kinds of things.  

I will pre-advise you that my discipline chart will not be just a number of spankings or minutes in the corner for a certain offense.  It will be meant to inspire you (and me) to be the mentor  our children need to know why we behave as Jesus commanded (and mom, when they don’t know enough about that).  Stay tuned.  I am anxious to share my methods of inspiring discipline with you as you learn to seek truth instead of punishment. 

If you have great ideas that have produced great kids, please feel free to email me with them.   There’s nothing like sharing our experiences and learning from one another.  

Blessings, Anne

Crap In, Crap Out: Getting More of God Into Your Family Life

Phillipians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

There are many people who don’t think they need the body of Christ to have faith, but this blog is to share how important it is to knit faith into our everyday conversation and to surround ourselves with people who encourage us to greater levels of understanding about what God expects for us.  Knitting is one of my hobbies.  While showing a friend my latest hat project I was talking to her about why I was using wool and that, even though it is a little itchy, it holds up better and repels more water than cheaper yarns.   We are both visual people so I was telling her about my favorite knitting book, Knitting Rules, by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, It doesn’t dwell on counting stitches, but rather says, “Just hold the hat up to your head and knit until it covers an ear, then change to stockinette stich.”  That’s my paraphrase.  I knit a few stitches on this hat while she browsed through the book and read a phrase aloud, “Crap in, crap out.”  

Later that evening, we were talking about life and ways that we could work talking about our faith into our kids lives.  The verse above, Phillipians 4:8 came up.   If you have taken note of what Jesus says in the Bible, he’s really concerned about how we live our lives, right down to our thoughts and our minds.  What we let into our world, put before our eyes and allow ourselves to hear all make up who we are.   This single passage can change your life if you get that’s it’s really saying just what my knitting book said, “Crap in, crap out.”  If we allow things that are not praiseworthy to fill our time, if we let our kids be influenced by things that don’t fit what is pure, lovely and admirable, what can we expect will come out of them?  

As parents, we wonder why kids make bad decisions.  They are kids! A popular answer, but that isn’t the excuse that fits as they mature and learn to make decisions about their actions.  We all make mistakes, but the skills needed to test and approve what God wants for us is rooted in this passage Paul wrote (Phil. 4:8 again).  

One good example of input we talked about was television.   Have you ever wondered what makes your kid tick?  Sometimes we just don’t know our kids, nor how they think and what appeals to them about what they do.  Pick a show your kids watch that they are smitten with.  Take a half hour to sit down with your child and watch it with them.  While your watching, ask your child questions about what they like about that show.  Why does it appeal to them.  Conversely, interject some things you notice like, “Gee, they sure put a lot of emphasis on what people wear.  It’s too bad they don’t understand that God wants us to value what’s on the inside more than what’s on the outside.”  Get the picture.  Continue this narrative as you watch t.v. together.   Believe it or not, God can work through you and your kids will wake up to the “Crap in” principle.  I know of many kids that ultimately choose to eliminate that show from their list of life activities.  (If after a few times, they don’t, you may cut it out, explain why and then move on to joint analysis of another show, pointing out common themes.)  With the information you’ve gained, you may find a more positive substitutions that encourage their interests.  

I encourage you to print out Phillipians 4:8.  Just click on the verse for a link to Bible Gateway.  Here you can read any version of the Bible at any time!  It’s the antithesis of “Crap in”.  Cut it out and tape it to your television.  In fact, tape verses all over your walls and door frames to remind you of what God wants your life to be like.  Life is an adventure in joyful living when you adopt this motto for your family, “God in, God out.” 

The Mission Statement and God's Position on Your Board

If you have any MBA graduates or management types in your family, you may hear talk of a mission statement.  It’s a vision for the company they are leading.  Every board has to decide on a vision for the organization they are directing.  Why?  It’s not a new concept.  In fact, it was God’s idea long before it was taught in any management school or seminar.  Solomon said it in the book of Proverbs, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.”  Other ways of saying this include, “If you don’t now where you’re going, it doesn’t matter which direction you will go.”  “You’re going nowhere, fast.”  “Where there is no direction, there can be no progress toward it.”

In light of this great wisdom, many companies have formed large organizations and profited by keeping true to their mission.   Is work the only place you need to have a vision?  

God has a mission.  In Matthew 28 Jesus, the greatest visionary and leader in unconventional wisdom of all time, said this to those he led,

“I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations,^[b^] baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

His disciples knew their mission, and because of it they did more than obey, they lived their mission and they died for it.  They did it understanding the guarantee of their leader.  In my words, 

“Introduce them to me, show them my nature and who I am.  Show them what it is like to follow me by your example.  Bring them into our family and have them confess their allegiance to my way by having them stand before men and state it in public.  I’ll reward them by cleaning up the mess they’ve made of their lives, show them that living for Me is like taking a bath in clean water.  The difference is that one washing is all it takes.  Don’t worry, no matter what happens when you follow my lead, I’ll be with you, forever, always.” 

So, your family is important to you, right?  Some people put God first, but most would put family first or second.     If family is a priority, why give the development of your family less intentional thought than your job?  Do you have a vision for your each of your children’s lives?  Do you know where you are heading in your leadership of their lives?  Each one of them is unique, and made for a different purpose.  Do you know what it is?  Most of us just wonder, but the reality is, that this knowledge is available through God!

The reason I stated above that Jesus is the ultimate visionary is that he did nothing that did NOT fit into his mission statement.  Everything he is about is for the mission he was sent to do.  He intentionally picked a bunch of difficult people to do his work and patiently waited for them to “get it”.   Are you one of those people who still needs to get it?  

God gives us kids and tells us to “train them up in the way that they should go, and they will not depart from it.”   If you have a mission for your company, which is lower on the list, do you have one for your family? 

When you look into their future, what do you want them to become?  Sometimes this question leads people to stress about college funds or academic achievement, but in the scheme of life with God, do you have a vision for them?  I guarantee that God, their designer does.  He knows why he gave them their personality and their gifts.  How will you know this if you don’t seek God and ask him to show you what it is?  The real mission God has for every Christian is the same one Jesus left for his disciples.  Show them how to KNOW me.  Show them how to SERVE me.  Reveal to them who I am, so they can blossom and be who I created them to be.  

Great leaders are charismatic.   The fire they have spreads to those around them.  We all lead by our example, but where are you leading them TO.  Are you showing your kids Christ by your choices and daily activity?  Kids are smart, intuitive, gifted and if you have passionate faith, they will catch it!  Sadly, many of us take our kids to church, trust the Sunday School leaders to “educate” them in God’s ways, but nothing in our daily life is any different than our neighbor’s because of Christ.  No one will catch anything from you that you don’t have, not even your kids. 

Do you want to raise kids who know Christ, or who just know ABOUT Christ.  Eventually, someone may tell them about what Jesus did for them, maybe on a street corner as they hand them a tract.  Do you want to leave them to this fate?  YOU have the opportunity to put Christ, the only way to real peace and joy (not to mention heaven), right IN FRONT of them for 18 years before the world gets them and sees your handiwork.  What are you doing? 

Spend time in prayer and do more listening than talking, then write down what matters to you, and whether that Christian title is talk or a LIFE you intend to live.  Trust me, your kids know the difference. 

What do you want to be when you grow up?

What do you want for your children as they grow into adulthood? When you envision them in the future how do you see them? As a Christian homeshooling family, the vision we have for our children's future affects everything we do, every book we read, what we choose to learn, every show we watch and every decision we make about how to spend our time.

A year ago, after I had spent time in prayer seeking what God wanted for my oldest son, I wrote this letter to him. He's 10 now and nearing the time when he may be ready to read it. Here is my faith prayer for my son. (I omitted the name so you could more easily envision your own child as you read it.)

My Dear Son,

As you develop into the person God created you to be, I pray you would open your heart to God's leading in every moment, that your will and your attitudes would be in submission to the LORD. As we learn together daily about the way God has directed life on our earth and every movement of every atom, may you know his plan for you is more than you can ever imagine it to be. It's bigger than the biggest idea you've ever had. Your talents have more potential than you will ever use, because we are so limited by our own lack of vision and true faith.

Now I see you serving God each day in your heart, but stumbling over small things as you get to know yourself. You were fearfully and wonderfully made, Son. There is no mistake in any part of your creation. As we spend each day together I hope to help you find out how to maximize your potential to do great things for God.

Through prayer, I hope you will quiet yourself to listen, and not always be talking.

Through solitude, I hope you will find a place to calm your soul and your
emotions.

Through scripture, you will fill yourself with the knowledge of what God has done and what he will do and with the passion God has placed inside you.  You will fill the world with joy and ignite a vision for what God can do in the lives of others.

Through serving others, you will be the hands and feet of Christ and know the greatest fulfillment, more than any gadget or toy can bring. I know you know that already, for I've seen you sacrifice something easily when you learn it will not please God or help you become closer to him.

When you face trials, you'll remember the struggles we shared daily and our talks about how just putting a foot forward and taking a step in faith will change every circumstance and help you bring your thoughts back into the obedience of Christ.

Prayer should be a continuous conversation with God. With your every thought, may you walk side-by-side with Him through His spirit. Spend your every moment in continuous conversation with God and you will always hear his voice. When you face the trials that will perfect your faith, face them on your knees with his Word in front of you. Don't let Satan's lies cloud who you really are. Believe in what God will do through you, even when you have tears blinding you.

God gave you to me for a short while. My job was to guide you and love you. To show you that an imperfect mom can love you a lot, but not nearly as much as the one who planned every atom of your being and every desire of your heart. Every day you grow and move closer to God as your guide and further from me.

What will you be like as an adult? I pray you will know who God created you to be so that your gifts will be a blessing to the world. Whatever you do, may you always know that loving people is important over all other things. Money is a blessing and a responsibility. If you strive for it, don't do it out of a lust for things, but out of a lust to give it away. God says we are to enjoy life, but the greatest joy is in seeing people connect with God and find their place with him. You will be able to show them that steadfast faith. Your faith will overcome the thorn you struggle with, because God is able to do all things and you'll believe that.

Love, Your Mom
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You are welcome to adopt my prayer for my child for your own child. I encourage you to pray for wisdom to recognize the unique passions and gifts God has put into your child, for they are the key to seeing what he or she may become. As you come to better understand your child's unique personality and gifts, you can direct him or her in how to use them to bless the world and write them their own prayer letter. This letter is to my oldest. This would not be the same letter I'd write to my other children, who have their own unique passions and abilities. They each bring their own unique joy to my life and I love them all.

Homeschool with Confidence: The Yearly Vision

Throughout an ordinary day, there are many conversations you will have with your child. Some familiar ones may be,

"Is your math finished?"
"Yes, Mom."
"Has your room been cleaned up?"
"Yes, Dad."
"How was your day?"
"Good."

Once in a while, you might want to have an actual brain-interfacing, life-connecting, probing conversation with your child. If that dear child attends school out of your home, you probably face a weary person at the end of the day who just wants to be in control of their time when they get home. All the way home they were probably thinking, "Wow! I can't wait to sit down and have a deep conversation with my Mom or Dad about my character and academic development." Fear not, a listening parent can find opportunities to work in great conversation. Sadly, those moments may not be as often as you desire and for some kids and parents, rare.

The blessing is that we, as homeschoolers, have a little more room to take advantage of these opportunities since we can spend more time interacting with our children. You have the opportunity to initiate fascinating conversations on any subject under the sun -- and you have ALL DAY to do it! The conversation above is still a part of the daily accountability lesson and uses some of our valuable energy, but keep the blessings in mind as all the talking and reading sends you to the secret stash of chocolate chips in the pantry. Let's face it, everyday life is distracting, busy and tiring. It often keeps us from slowing down, listening and parenting with purpose -- in an intentional way.

If you are a homeschooler your kids may be facing a very weary mom at the end of the day. If you don't have great confidence in the plan you've chosen for the year or the day wasn't filled with all the inspiration you'd expected the night before, you may also feel a bit hopeless at the end of the day and perhaps defeated. This has certainly happened to me, but prayer and vision for my kids has put new light on our direction as a family and for me as a leader. I say leader, not just because I'm still the tallest one home all day, but because I have the potential to make change and direct with wisdom, love and of course, complete control at ALL times (don't be defeated at that bit of sarcasm).

To keep myself on a confident path, once each year I spend one to two months revisiting the way I'm leading my kids. It takes that long (or longer). I really believe that only through observing your children, reflecting, praying and waiting can I know how to go on with their education and mentoring. If you haven't found a way to work through your visionary roadblocks, you may want to get out your planner and dedicate some time (alone time is ultimate of course) to a visionary beginning. It can be a few minutes in prayer each night, or a weekend away at a quiet inn. Telling your husband that you need a visionary weekend to assess the success of your efforts and plan for your children's lives is always a good way to get that needed alone time! How could anyone say no to that? When I've found my quiet place, I write down and pray about are:

• How has each child changed or grown over the past year?
• What are their strengths and weaknesses in their academic life?
• What are their spiritual strengths and weaknesses?
• What gifts do I see emerging?
• What is their attitude toward learning, toward faith and life as a whole?
• What have we done that has encouraged them in any area?

What did we let "fall of the map" and are their consequences associated with that?
This is your chance to know that your choices were made for a reason. When chaos strikes, you can "refer to your notes" with confidence that at one time, on one day, you really did seek the Master's plan for how you are living this day, today. I spend time praying for insight about my children, about what the Master has created them for. I pray He would show me what their lives might look like if they used their unique gifts to His full advantage. The Bible says that "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." This tells us that we are created in Christ, he is a full part of who we are now. Your child is not only your child, but Christ living inside your child. How do you lead that? It is a humbling experience. Fortunately, God gives us some tools to communicate with him on how this can be done. We have the Bible to give us great guidelines, but also our senses and prayer to personalize our parenting for each child.

A proverb says "Train up a child in the way that he should go," but there is more to that than teaching them the 10 Commandments, right from wrong and even who their Savior is. It requires probing their heart, entering their mind and exploring their passions! God gave them those things. He is the master with the artists brush! He "equipped them for every good work" and according to Paul's letter to the Ephesians, God prepared us in advance for those works. What your children need to be God's best is already inside of them.

What is "God's best" for your child? That can be an overwhelming task to figure out. Do we want them to be the best in math? -- It wouldn't hurt. Do we want them to be spelling masters? -- My husband has been highly successful without that skill. Perhaps you want your child to be in ministry. Notice a common thread here? "Do we want...." Sometimes we rely on too much human wisdom and knowledge in the choices we make for our children. Have you ever read a great book, but felt left out of certain details that just leave you wondering? The author is only source for those answers. As humans, the author of our being, of each purposefully created soul, is the only one with the answers for the guidance you seek.

So, after the list has been made and the praying has been done, the listening begins. Facing our jobs in an honest way is what makes all great leaders. As parents, we hold the future in our hands and daily wipe the melted chocolate chips, jelly and peanut butter off of "it". With a listening spirit and an intuitive heart you can effectively change the direction of the life of your child. You are now ready to made decisions for your child and can:
Choose a school or curriculum that fits their unique being.
Encourage and provide opportunities for them in their areas of giftedness and passion.
Help them understand their weaknesses and how to work around them.
Provide the level of structure necessary for them to work efficiently to their maximum potential.
The great benefit of parenting this way is that you will find more peace and confidence in your decisions. You will find you are less swayed by the opinions of others because that "page of wisdom" shows you who your child is and is becoming.

A few books that have had an influence in growing my understanding and passion for parenting in this manner have been:
Revolutionary Parenting by George Barna
The Treasure Inside Your Child by Pamela Farrell
A Biblical Home Education by Ruth Beechik

Why would anyone homeschool their children? (Part Two) or The Gardener's Children)

Let's talk about how we mass market children loved school as kids. Every morning was a new learning adventure. As that bus came down the street, my heart pounded as I thought about what my teachers had prepared for me that day. Joy filled my heart, especially for the nice person who may let me sit by them on the bus. (I was always the last one on.) Middle school was definitely the highlight of my personal growth and social development in more ways than one. -- If this is all fiction for you as it was for me and you want to give your kids hope of actually feeling that way about learning, then you may be a homeschooler.

How many of you remember loving history as a kid? When I talk to other homeschoolers and ask them what really gets them excited it is often history. You may think (or have thought before you became one of these counter-cultural homeschoolers), "Boring!" However, once you become an actual counter-cultural homeschooler and begin to hang out with others who share your rebellious nature you'll hear something that goes like this; "I hated to memorize all those facts for tests but now, I LOVE history. It's our favorite subject." Consequently, many of the books we use to devour history were written by moms who became addicted to history, were not satisfied with the materials they found, so they wrote a whole curriculum."

Now, there are all types of families with all types of kids. There are mom's who just pick a curriculum package early on, trust it and then do it faithfully every day. There are unschoolers, who completely trust that their children will learn what they need to when they need to. I, sometimes regretfully, just can't seem to be either mom. No, there could be something better, more exciting (easier to manage), and perfectly suited to the uniqueness of my little darlings. My continual search for the "best way" can lead to my most dreaded form of mental illness, "homeschool anxiety". Can the Discovery Channel be science for the day? Am I doing enough or too much?" I say these things because if you question yourself, you can know you are not alone in these thoughts. You have not failed and you are not unusual. The homeschooling life is really journeying with your kids on their way to becoming their best self, the self they were made to be. With time you know your kids, how they learn and what drives them to learn. You can then sit back and enjoy the progress you make together. The moments of anxiety will become less familiar and the freedom of this lifestyle will make its blessings known.

If thoughts like these continue to bother you, let's relax and go out into my garden for a while. As an avid gardener, I've planned about eight perennial gardens in my yard, laying out the plan on paper, measuring out the distances I would place the groupings of odd numbered plants. According to a saying about perennial gardens, the third year is the "WOW" year. Well, it truly was. Neighbors stopped on their walks to walk through my yard. All was lovely. I put a new layer of mulch over it all that year to celebrate it's perfectly planned perfection.

It's year six in my garden now. Did you know there's no saying for year six? For a control freak, years five and six could be "Let's put the grass back! It's out of control!" For those years past three, the real nature of gardening takes over. If you had a vision for your garden and it was based on knowledge of those plants habits and preferences, there is probably still an element of control in the appearance of your beautiful yard. But plants, like children, are not ours to control. Some thrive in the sunlight with very little attention, planting little babies in your path, your yard (and your neighbors yard). There are others which will struggle where you've placed them and seem to disappear as those around them choke them out. Left unnoticed, one of your prize plants may just disappear.

If we don't pay attention to the passions of our children to their gifts and challenges, they too may be crowded out. My point is this, letting go of some control and allowing nature to direct your garden and your children to direct your daily plan is often the first step to the blooming of the flowers that are your children. I've learned that I can't fight the nature of my garden and that I can't force the nature of my children. I do need to teach self-control, perseverance, kindness and self-discipline, but the rest is largely inspiration.

The beauty of the garden is not to fight the unplanned, but to rejoice in it and observe it, noticing or transplanting "volunteers" rather than pulling them out because they aren't in the right place. God put everything that plant needed in a tiny seed. The whole blueprint is in it from the beginning. God also formed your child and said, "before I formed you in the womb, I knew you." When we trust that the interests our children have are not mistakes, complications to the "schedule", then they are free to embrace learning in its most powerful form, that guided by passion and interest. Neighbors still come to look at my garden, but I no longer make excuses for the weeds that may be there, but aside from the flowers, they comment on what wonderful kids I have.

Just as I have discovered many truths as I've grown with my garden, I know that as a parent, I don't have all the answers and cannot "teach" them all I know (.. or don't know). Whether you have college degrees or a high school diploma, each day a further opportunity to admit what we don't yet know. Most Americans think they were "educated" through the schooling process marked by some date in time and piece of sheepskin (if they are so blessed). However, the more we grow, the less we realize we know! We learn best when we let go of common thought and challenge ourselves to be free. We hear a lot about freedom, "Those in Christ are free indeed". America is the "land of the free." Homeschoolers are in the best position to fully accept the possibilities of this freedom.

Here you will realize the truth of Mark Twain's quote that "Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned." I apply this to what we generally think of as education, force feeding an agreed upon set of facts to children in a set number of years in an order that will give them the greatest chance at "success" in life. We are surrounded daily by those who struggle with the educational system, trying to work with it, in spite of it, as their children's lives pass before them. Search for favorable quotes on the blessings of mass education and you will be hard pressed to find many by those who stand out in history as admired thinkers and leaders. One of the more unoffensive (toward teachers and public institutions) was by Elbert Hubbard, American author, editor and printer who said, "The object of teaching a child is to enable him to get along without a teacher." This image is complimented by William B. Yeats (poet) in his statement that "Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire." When you know what lights the fire in your child, and give him your blessing to be who he is, you will have unlearned successfully all that we thought we knew about education.