Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts

Saturday, January 29

Feeling a Bit Claustrophobic? The Winter Blues Are Not Terminal

It’s mid-winter again. Outside it’s gray, overcast, snowy and icy. The beauty of winter’s icy sparkle may now seem muted as feelings of isolation and boredom set in. The thrill of sledding has worn off and kids who, weeks ago, slid eagerly like penguins in the snow, need to be prodded to go out to get some fresh air. Longing for the warmth of the summer sun and the vitamin D it provides, some people fall prey to depression. When mid-winter chills our zeal, we become more aware of the need for people and connection. In the fall, academics command our energy and zeal, but with winter, fellowship, group activities and idea sharing can shine light on bleak days. 
After the holiday season, a personal mission of mine is to recapture a sense of organization and do some revisionary work on our schedule. A new year means new beginnings. If you’ve let the order in your home slide through the fall, a week or two of cleaning and purging can shine light where piles previously persecuted you. Have the kids been helping enough? If not, revive hope by establishing a system with clear expectations and set consequences. A card file system works well for us. Take a fresh and prayerful look at what’s necessary, or lacking, in your academic schedule. Is there excess baggage or neglected areas in your learning day? Perhaps some re-purposing is in order there too.  What do you really want to accomplish that you are not? Analyze progress in character and academics then create hope with a plan to implement change.
Fresh ideas can be like sunshine in the depth of winter. Get out a bowl and give those kids some squares of paper. Send them hunting for ideas. Is there a place or thing they’d love to know more about? Encyclopedias are full of unexplored topics. For a change of pace, a biography can serve as literature, narration and writing, history and geography. The internet is full of resources that can take you across the world to places, or to other teachers with ideas to share. Find a way to accomplish your goals that may be more fun that what you’re doing now. Whatever you choose, pick something that the whole bunch will find something of interest in. 
After the cleaning and re-organizing is done, what next? There is no substitute for the fellowship of others.  A few years ago we felt the darkness of winter isolation shading our enthusiasm. Is there a place you can schedule a weekly, or bi-weekly outing?  Our church had a gym and fellowship hall that wasn’t used during the day. I reserved the space and advertised a day for homeschoolers to come for free play in the gym, board games and mom-time.  It is now a popular place for regular friends to meet and new homeschoolers to connect, share ideas and find direction.  It was easy and rewarding. 
Friendship doesn’t have to involve something large or labor intensive, but finding others who are like minded to support you can change your homeschooling worldview.  No matter how you feel, someone else has been there and can take your hand through the struggle. Online groups are helpful if you need a quick answer to a question, but keep looking locally until you find a group of families with similar age kids to share life with. The homeschool community is a wonderful blessing, but you won’t find it sitting inside your house waiting for it to show up. Find a large co-op and advertise a club or group that would interest your own children. Blessings await you when you do. Securing friendship for yourself and your kids alleviates the agony of loneliness. It is in giving that we receive the most. If you have a talent to share or a skill, offer a class in that.  Swapping our talents is a fun way to give what we do well and receive what we don’t. 
While reading the last four paragraphs, it is likely that winter has remained. Go do a snow check if you must. We still have 12 inches on the ground here in Indiana. My writing students would see getting to the last paragraph as the light at the end of the tunnel.  In life, we often must find the light ourselves, taking steps in a direction we haven’t gone before.  God multiplies the gifts we give; it is likely that a solution you create will be a solution for someone else at the same time. The choice to homeschool brings enduring rewards, but as we stand on the mountain of the present, low-lying clouds can block our view. Endure friend. The sun will shine again! 
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
   -Robert Frost, “The Road Not Taken”


Thursday, April 15

Are We Guided by the Spirit or Ruled by our Emotions?

Today was like many days in my life. I had goals, a list, I was encouraged, then disappointed, and once in a while I struggled with self-control.  The familiar realization appeared again that I was not and could not be in control of all the many things I had been given to accomplish.  Praise God that He saves me daily from having solitary control over ANYthing.  After taking time to allow Him to shape my attitude He corrected my way of thinking and I found the way to a positive outcome.  Have you had those days?  They are the days that you realize that you are not able to hide anything from God.  When He says He needs to be Lord of our lives, he means in all areas.  One phrase that was a great catalyst in my understanding of God's desire for my life is 2 Corinthians 10:4-6,
4 (for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but mighty before God to the casting down of strongholds),
 5 casting down imaginations, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ;
 6 and being in readiness to avenge all disobedience, when your obedience shall be made full.
Daily the question enters my mind, "How am I going to do my best today to lead my children and others around me to in a faithful way?" What am I exalting above the knowledge of God?  Man's wisdom? My will? Chocolate? I can talk to my kids about God each day, which I do, but if I show them that those things are words with no power behind them, I know they will not see God's  ways as the answers to the problems in their lives.

Girls, we can sometimes be emotional - Do socks on the floor bug you? Do crumbs make you boil? Are there whiskers in your sink? Do you play with toys or curse them as you trip over them?  I'll hit you deeper - has your child ever complained about your plan for the day, one you've spent time praying and planning for, or grumbled again about the blessing of piano lessons?  It's those little things that Satan likes to jab me with on a daily basis, so the above verse is a lifeline to me.  Our weapons are NOT of the flesh or of this world.  Wine and chocolate and me time will not make me happier and will not lead to inner joy.   I must be obedient in the ways God has shown me, even when Satan tells me my efforts are fruitless.  I do not serve a God who is not there to back me up on the job he has given me!  Secondly, I have no hope of not falling into a heap on the floor and sobbing on a regular basis without the Spirit to remind me, moment-by-moment, that I need to bring every thought into the obedience of Christ.

Last night this topic of emotional health came up in the women's study I'm facilitating.  The author of our study guide said that if we choose to walk by the Spirit we will come under His control in even in our emotional responses.  "Of course that's TRUE," I thought, "but how can we accomplish this mindset?"  It sounded like magic in the book, but the author mistakenly assumed that saying it would make it so.  Why?  Because we don't all take the time to know what walking in the Spirit is before we expect it to work! It takes devotion and intention to reach this place.  Sure, we can be saved and forgiven, but we can also just snooze in that place, do a few good deeds, attend church regularly and even serve others - all without every really letting Jesus be Lord (which means Master) of our lives.

The good news is that walking in the Spirit does produce results that really ARE miraculous.  The question arose,  "Are we willing to let go of a few things and get uncomfortable on the way there?" Remember when Jesus said we had to take up our cross and follow Him?  Oooh, that applies to everyone? Wasn't that just for missionaries, ministers and leaders?  No, I'm afraid that if we read that verse above from Corinthians it holds us all to a pretty high standard.  Every thought?  Can it be?

Well, the group comprised a list of the things that we needed to do regularly to continue to walk in the Spirit.  I think it's safe to say that when you are in a group of women and you propose a way avoid reacting emotionally about the stones in the road of life, you'll gather some interest.   The list below may not be exhaustive, but these things are part of walking in the Spirit.  We decided that we would check this list regularly to see if we were lacking in an area when we felt off balance.   I hope it will be helpful as a checklist to you too.  Before you go, check the link to the daily read by Oswald Chambers.  (Daily Read) When it rains it pours and as I read this to my kids tonight, I couldn't help but see that God really hammers the message in when we are available to listen.  Sad that I need to have it hammered in, but I'm thankful none the less.

How Do We Continue in the Spirit?  A guide...
  • Study
  • Solitude (with God, not running from a situation, but running TO Him)
  • Sermons
  • Guard your heart and your mind
  • Balance in your day
  • Care for your physical and mental health
  • Seek God directly (before asking friends for advice)
  • Prayer (some talking, more listening)
  • Find a mentor or someone who challenges you spiritually and connect regularly
  • Pray to have a heart and eyes like God.  Look at others as He does.
  • Do good works regularly
  • Confess your sins to one another so that you may be healed
  • Christian music (Music is a powerful influence!)
  • Allow yourself to be held accountable to Christian friends (or that mentor)
  • Be humble
  • Be willing to let God search your heart and know your mind for anything against His will
  • When convicted, take action
  • Expect God to move
  • Keep a prayer journal, record answered prayers and read them for encouragement
  • Fast - obedience and devotion are powerful  
  • Do not seek comfort in then world.  God is able to meet all your needs.
Thanks for holding me accountable!   Feel free to comment or email me any additions to this list.  The beauty of Christian women is that they are eager to keep each other on the road up the mountain.  Is it all worth it?  YES! Have you ever climbed a mountain and then sat on the top? You know your worked hard to get there, but when you look out you see things as you never have before.  You are awed by the vast beauty of creation in front of you and you celebrate that the moment is special.  Now that you are on top of it, you have the authority to say to it MOVE!
Therefore, (A)confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be (B)healed (C)The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. (James 5:16)

Wednesday, December 17

Grief in the Holiday Season - Hope and Peace



Grief knows no season. Our church offers a “Service of Peace” each year. It’s a quiet time in the middle of the “joyful” Christmas season, where those who may be grieving, lonely, under strain, or just blue, can come to be be encouraged, share communion and sometimes tears together. I am sharing this talk I gave because it may help others whose pain may overwhelm them at this time of year.

Our Christmas season 7 years ago was peaceful. Not the kind of peace you casually send on a Christmas Card, but rather the kind that is there when God is the only one who matters, when he is the eye in the middle of the storm. We were expecting our third child. Our son Ben, was 2 1/2 and our second son, Jonathan, just celebrated his 1st birthday.

Although Jonathan got presents, as other kids did, he also got Neuroblastoma, a rare form of childhood cancer. God always had his hand on Jon. We were thankful that when Christmas approached, Jonathan was recovering from surgery.

Our challenges were just beginning. After telling our doctor what the strange “thing” on Jonathan’s adrenal had turned out to be, he ordered another ultrasound for the new baby. On December 21 we learned that the little girl we were expecting had a diaphragmatic hernia and a slim chance of living. Her little organs were not giving her lungs enough room to grow. We celebrated that year with our unborn daughter, with God and in the quiet, because it was the only Christmas we might have with her.

Jonathan is here today. The “miracle baby” the doctors called him, but our daughter, Elizabeth Joy, didn’t stay here long. Seventeen days after her birthday, the life support machines, the surgery to give her lungs room and all the “miracles” of medicine were not working. We were finally allowed to hold her, because there was not hope. Our beautiful baby girl became lifeless in my arms. A body with no soul. I understood the fact that she was God’s and not mine, and I was understanding that I was God’s and not mine.

God carried us through that year. The next January, we were expecting our fourth child. Still recovering from Elizabeth’s death and her first birthday nearing. The trauma continued, in April, our ultrasound revealed a lifeless body. I came near death, hemorrhaging while delivering a little boy that we already knew was gone.

Through life, there may not be one defining moment. Life is a walk with God. In a world where sin, sickness and death still torment us. How can we find peace? What is it?

It begins with obedience and is found in letting go... denying yourself.. as Paul said.

Denying ourself is to deny the things in our lives that are inconsistent with the glory of God and the highest good of others. It is to let go of self. It meant that I could not spend the rest of my life mourning. Denying myself meant to reach out to others in my situation, teaching them how to survive and to walk with God, yet I was also preaching to myself.

Are you wondering what you have done to deserve suffering, or why God allows it if he loves us? I challenge you to let go of those questions and to refocus on the greatness of God, The better question to ask is....what the condition of your relationship with Him?

I do understand your need for questions. There were months when the world was a foreign place to me. I didn’t know what to ask anymore. God seemed silent. For many months, all it seemed I could do in prayer was hold my hand out, reaching for help from God. The enemy was working hard to keep me down. I came to a point when I knew that for the good of my family, I could not stay in this place. I needed to know what God’s will was for me in all this. I found these verses that were so simple, that I adopted them as my map from god. I repeated the following verses daily to myself and shared them with others who were hurting. Only a person in complete grief themselves can tell others drowning in grief these words.

2 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Be joyful.... always
Pray continually
Give thanks.... in all circumstances
THIS IS GOD’S WILL FOR YOU IN CHRIST JESUS.

My eyes have continued be opened so has my understanding of peace. I could stand here for days and tell you the miracles I’ve seen God do since then in the lives of others, but mainly in me. Things that would not have happened if I had not discovered how passing life is.

When I prayed for wisdom about what I could share with you tonight, in so little time. I sat in silence, waiting for wisdom. A word came, then another. I wrote them down one by one. Sometimes we question that God has given us clear words, but when I studied each word, I saw God’s hope and peace in them. The show how I have rearranged my life and understanding in this way so that no circumstance will be able to steal my peace.

The first was pre-empting, a strange word, I thought as I looked it up. It meant “To take for ones-self”. To let God replace the hurt and confusion we live in with His wisdom. God wants us to be his, wholly and undividedly, His. It also means reconsideration of who we are. We were created wholly for fellowship with God. He is to be THE priority, not a priority.

I find peace and purpose in knowing why I’m here.

The second word was all-sustaining - The Creator of Life carries us. He “supports us from below”. The Maker of the universe cares about our every need and promises that if we seek Him first, he will provide all.

Peace is born again when I relax in his arms.

Third word, re-generating - The Master reshapes us. With each person we love the volume of our hearts grow. When my child died, it left a gaping hole it seemed nothing could fill. It was the space God was looking for to move in.

We find peace when we invite him to fill that.

The fourth and last word was overflowing - For many, peace comes from knowing. I was on a desperate search to know, why? When I needed to fill the painful holes in my heart. I began to flood myself with the things of God. I read about God, I journaled and I prayed. I am still amazed at what happened. God is so generous. He never stopped giving and I never stop asking.

I pray that in your sadness, grief and questioning that the

Pre-Empting
All-Sustaining
Re-Generating
Overflowing

God of Peace
would be your answer.