Abundant Life Homeschooling: Part 1 - Why Consider Homeschooling?

There have been many days as a homeschooling mom where I've felt physically drained and emotionally spent.  I can’t even count how many times I’ve mentioned that I homeschool and heard,  "I just know I could never home school!” I confess that my children have learned a lot but that I have probably learned the most in my five year journey discipling my children.  It is the most effective method of parental refinement I know - in a good way.  There are rewards that can be found no where else but in learning together as a family.

If you have begun the homeschooling journey, fear of failure is NOT a sign that you should start looking for schools. I've felt the same anxiety!  As you read more in this series, you'll see that homeschooling does not have to be a torturous assignment for you or your children every day.  Did you know that God goes before you?  He prepares the way and shares his vision and insights with us.  So, what is YOUR homework?  Your largest and most time consuming task is not choosing the right curriculum, or making sure you meet the state standards or prepare for yearly testing.  No, the key to abundant life homeschooling is spending more time getting to know God intimately and learning to listen to the Spirit who guides you.  When God promised to work all things for the good for those who love him and are called according to HIS purpose, he is FAITHful in providing that.  Don't take my word for it, just start doing it and see what happens.  This is the key to finding joy, restoring joy and living joyfully.  This may not be the world's way of raising children, but note what the Bible says about the world's way:

Romans 12:2 says "Do not conform any longer to the patter of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." 

Did you know that all forms of education have an agenda?  I have an agenda for my kids, but I prefer to call it a vision.  Proverbs 29:18 says, "Where there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint, but blessed is he who keeps the law." Chew on that a bit.... As Christians, the single most important thing we are commanded by God to instill in our children is intimate knowledge of their creator and follow the vision he provides as we live our lives.  If we don't have a vision for our children, how can we expect to know where to aim?

Public education as it exists today (and as it was designed) is motivated by corporate necessity, a need for societal order, a place to provide the poor with basic skills, and to create like mindedness in society.  This is their vision. (Click here for my source and a great online read documenting this.)  Do you trust your children's hearts to a system that truly has a goal of instilling values apart from God's values, not to mention the distortion and selective coverage of history and God's hand in it?  We believe we're sending them to school to learn reading, math and basic skills.  Are you aware that political and social activism have taken the place of Christianity in the schools? Your values have been replaced, questioned, and filtered through the eyes of many others. Check out this recent example.

What about morality? Consider the best a public school can do to teach morality.  They can explain what "good behavior" is, but teaching morals apart from God's word is like brushing your teach every day but not being able to teach WHY you do it.  Habits and behaviors with no reason behind them are insulting to children.  There ARE reasons for morality.   Character does matter. If we want to instill integrity and deep seated faith in our children, then we must show, by our decisions, that we ourselves are going to take a stand in when it comes to 2 Cor. 10:5...

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Demolishing arguments contrary to God's word doesn't mean tolerating it as a necessary evil of education! Fear not, when we are obedient to a call, God showers great blessings upon us! 

What I Learned From My Weeds

It’s gardening season again! In the last week we have all been manually pulling weeds in all of our vegetable beds and lawn.  It seems impossible to keep up on them all.   Yes, we could just spread herbicides, but there's enough trying to poison my kids lives without me adding more.

As I weed and hoe there is a lot of quiet time for reflecting.  Gardening is my favorite way to see how God has given creation great freedom, but has also given us a lot of choice in how we exercise that freedom.  We have free will, but through the exercise of allowing God to prune us, we can have fewer personal weeds rearing their ugly heads each season and greater fruit in our ministry to our families and others.

Unless we’re dead, we each have weeds in our lives.  I am looking forward to gardening in heaven and praying that’s my job, since their will be NO invasive species there.  At our house, we enjoy squirrels, and they can teach us a lot about the weeds in our lives.  Like many people, squirrels are funny and entertain us all through the year.  As a gardener, I have learned a lot from squirrels.  They are not so different from us in our natural, sinful state.  Both species, humans and squirrels, face temptation daily.  What is squirrel temptation? Corn in the feeder.  Corn is like squirrel idolatry.  Even if corn makes the squirrel feel good, there is a consequence to the rest of us, weeds.   As a result, I don’t put that temptation in front of the squirrel because he then becomes a burden to the rest of us.

Sometimes we humans think that our sins are harmless, part of our human nature, but to God they are really a nuisance.  I know feel better thinking that that little screw up is forgiven; and hope that it hasn't really hurt anyone in the long run. 

In the bigger picture of our lives, God has great things He wants to do through us, but we sometimes refuse to pull the weeds until it takes a spade to get under a 12” root, disrupting all the plantings around it!  The weeds that we refuse to pull (or ignore) as we walk, claiming to know Him, inflict damage, whether we acknowledge it or not.  There are seeds of damage that often take years to germinate and show their fruit.  Sometimes we sow the same bad seed every day! When the fruit shows itself we say, "I wonder where THAT came from?" Seldom at the harvest time will we connect that we planted them so diligently.  There is no greater influence on our children’s understanding of living for Christ than our daily LIFE gardening habits.

“Search me O God and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts.  And see if there be ANY wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:22-24)

If we are new creatures in Christ we need to say this daily.  The weeds of sin have deep roots and spread out of our yards to others.  As people drive by or live with us, they see them and form opinions about us AND the Jesus we say we follow.  Do we want people damaged because of our actions?  What affect can a wrong motive have or a laugh at the expense of someone else? Can we hide from God? When we go out in public and lack self-control and love in our words, behavior, and actions, we do so still wearing the name Christian.  Perhaps that person who is laughed at or hurt will one day join a small group looking for hope. Will they respect our leadership after having encountered us in an out of control moment?  Sure, we all have out of control moments now and then, but when let them become habits or something that give us pleasure - there is a deep root that needs to be pulled.

But can’t God work through any situation?  Sure, he CAN, but when we commit any of the things He calls sin, it is not to His glory. 

What is your temptation in life?  Maybe I need to say it this way; what is tolerated, fun or pleasurable for you that is not God pleasing.  In what circumstance do you do things that you know fails to bring God glory?  I know I don’t put corn out for the squirrels anymore.  They are like us in the milk stage of faith; they fall for it every time.  If we walk in the Spirit, we will remove the “corn” from our lives and we will become mature, people God can use every day.  We’ll find all our needs met in Him, not in money, television, liquor, recognition, men or whatever our crutch USED to be.  It is then, that God will be able to lead us beyond the imaginable to the truly joyful.

Is this optional? We have to hold each other accountable.  If you don't have an accountability partner, you need one.  I have freed friends to let me know if I'm off the path in any way.  They are often more merciful than I deserve, but I rely on them to challenge me.  I don't want to be responsible for scattering instead of gathering!  There is no verse that holds me more accountable than the one below.  You may lead a ministry in your church, or you may be one of the most influential leaders of all, a parent.  Whatever role you feel God has called us to, you and I need to weed the garden regularly to be able to do God’s work as He expects it to be done.  He will enable us to do whatever he asks of us! 

1 Timothy 3

 1Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer,[a] he desires a noble task. 2Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) 6He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap.

Are We Guided by the Spirit or Ruled by our Emotions?

Today was like many days in my life. I had goals, a list, I was encouraged, then disappointed, and once in a while I struggled with self-control.  The familiar realization appeared again that I was not and could not be in control of all the many things I had been given to accomplish.  Praise God that He saves me daily from having solitary control over ANYthing.  After taking time to allow Him to shape my attitude He corrected my way of thinking and I found the way to a positive outcome.  Have you had those days?  They are the days that you realize that you are not able to hide anything from God.  When He says He needs to be Lord of our lives, he means in all areas.  One phrase that was a great catalyst in my understanding of God's desire for my life is 2 Corinthians 10:4-6,

⁴ (for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but mighty before God to the casting down of strongholds),

 ⁵ casting down imaginations, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ;

 ⁶ and being in readiness to avenge all disobedience, when your obedience shall be made full.

Daily the question enters my mind, "How am I going to do my best today to lead my children and others around me to in a faithful way?" What am I exalting above the knowledge of God?  Man's wisdom? My will? Chocolate? I can talk to my kids about God each day, which I do, but if I show them that those things are words with no power behind them, I know they will not see God's  ways as the answers to the problems in their lives.

Girls, we can sometimes be emotional - Do socks on the floor bug you? Do crumbs make you boil? Are there whiskers in your sink? Do you play with toys or curse them as you trip over them?  I'll hit you deeper - has your child ever complained about your plan for the day, one you've spent time praying and planning for, or grumbled again about the blessing of piano lessons?  It's those little things that Satan likes to jab me with on a daily basis, so the above verse is a lifeline to me.  Our weapons are NOT of the flesh or of this world.  Wine and chocolate and me time will not make me happier and will not lead to inner joy.   I must be obedient in the ways God has shown me, even when Satan tells me my efforts are fruitless.  I do not serve a God who is not there to back me up on the job he has given me!  Secondly, I have no hope of not falling into a heap on the floor and sobbing on a regular basis without the Spirit to remind me, moment-by-moment, that I need to bring every thought into the obedience of Christ.

Last night this topic of emotional health came up in the women's study I'm facilitating.  The author of our study guide said that if we choose to walk by the Spirit we will come under His control in even in our emotional responses.  "Of course that's TRUE," I thought, "but how can we accomplish this mindset?"  It sounded like magic in the book, but the author mistakenly assumed that saying it would make it so.  Why?  Because we don't all take the time to know what walking in the Spirit is before we expect it to work! It takes devotion and intention to reach this place.  Sure, we can be saved and forgiven, but we can also just snooze in that place, do a few good deeds, attend church regularly and even serve others - all without every really letting Jesus be Lord (which means Master) of our lives.

The good news is that walking in the Spirit does produce results that really ARE miraculous.  The question arose,  "Are we willing to let go of a few things and get uncomfortable on the way there?" Remember when Jesus said we had to take up our cross and follow Him?  Oooh, that applies to everyone? Wasn't that just for missionaries, ministers and leaders?  No, I'm afraid that if we read that verse above from Corinthians it holds us all to a pretty high standard.  Every thought?  Can it be?

Well, the group comprised a list of the things that we needed to do regularly to continue to walk in the Spirit.  I think it's safe to say that when you are in a group of women and you propose a way avoid reacting emotionally about the stones in the road of life, you'll gather some interest.   The list below may not be exhaustive, but these things are part of walking in the Spirit.  We decided that we would check this list regularly to see if we were lacking in an area when we felt off balance.   I hope it will be helpful as a checklist to you too.  Before you go, check the link to the daily read by Oswald Chambers.  (Daily Read) When it rains it pours and as I read this to my kids tonight, I couldn't help but see that God really hammers the message in when we are available to listen.  Sad that I need to have it hammered in, but I'm thankful none the less.

How Do We Continue in the Spirit?  A guide...

• Study
• Solitude (with God, not running from a situation, but running TO Him)
• Sermons
• Guard your heart and your mind
• Balance in your day
• Care for your physical and mental health
• Seek God directly (before asking friends for advice)
• Prayer (some talking, more listening)
• Find a mentor or someone who challenges you spiritually and connect regularly
• Pray to have a heart and eyes like God.  Look at others as He does.
• Do good works regularly
• Confess your sins to one another so that you may be healed
• Christian music (Music is a powerful influence!)
• Allow yourself to be held accountable to Christian friends (or that mentor)
• Be humble
• Be willing to let God search your heart and know your mind for anything against His will
• When convicted, take action
• Expect God to move
• Keep a prayer journal, record answered prayers and read them for encouragement
• Fast - obedience and devotion are powerful  
• Do not seek comfort in then world.  God is able to meet all your needs.

Thanks for holding me accountable!   Feel free to comment or email me any additions to this list.  The beauty of Christian women is that they are eager to keep each other on the road up the mountain.  Is it all worth it?  YES! Have you ever climbed a mountain and then sat on the top? You know your worked hard to get there, but when you look out you see things as you never have before.  You are awed by the vast beauty of creation in front of you and you celebrate that the moment is special.  Now that you are on top of it, you have the authority to say to it MOVE!

Therefore, ^(A)confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be ^(B)healed ^(C)The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. (James 5:16)

Mercy in Discipline

I came across an interesting question today by a person who was newer in their faith walk. Because of this, she now had the task of converting her family members. She was trying to use God's word to tell the child how to behave, but the child, not really wanting anything to do with God yet, saw no reason to follow those guidelines. Helping your child "see the light" is not a quick process. It comes from modeling a changed heart, first of all. Here was my suggestion for getting into the heart of the child. I do not do this EVERY time, because children need correction, the Word of guidance and prayer to be firm in their faith. The idea I've posted had a very positive outcome with my own children, so I thought I'd share it.

"Sometimes we try to push Jesus onto people rather than love them to Christ. When I was a new Christian I was pretty zealous and it made people feel guilty and convicted, but NOT loved. Think of loving her to Christ. Show her understanding, like Jesus showed the woman who washed his feet. Show her mercy - sometime when you'd really like to punish her just tell her, "You know, God knows the best way for us to live, and because he loves us he tells us the way to go to be happy. Sometimes we don't choose it. We make mistakes. You know I've made a lot of those and I"m thankful every day that God shows me mercy. I'm showing you mercy today, because I know how it feels to need it. It's not going to happen every time, because I need to teach you how to live God's way. That's my job. But this time. I love you and I forgive you. " I don't think there is a better way to explain God's love for us to a kid who's fearing punishment, punishment like WE ourselves deserve."

(However, I do have high expectations of my kids and expect them to show this mercy to others too.)

Attitude Check! Celebrating Kids Who are "Getting It"

There’s Nothing Like Kids with a Good Attitude

This is a post of thankfulness. After a month of entertaining and Christmas celebrating, we are back after the New Year. Reflecting on the past, there have been times in our homeschooling journey when my kids just acted like everything I asked them to do was an injustice to them. “It’s time to do math,” could result in a facial expression on my children that sends me to a place of complete discouragement. I persevered, even when it didn’t seem to work - planting seeds and praying. We read Proverbs on laziness “He who will not work shall not eat.” and “diligent hands will rule but laziness ends in slave labor”. We talked and prayed about honoring God in all we think and do, focusing on what is excellent and praiseworthy... and nothing else! Sometimes it feels like that’s what I’M doing was the slave labor. No, it’s all meaningful, life-changing mission work, this homeschooling daily drama. We’ve been asking God to speak to us in a few moments of silence when we pray. Yesterday I head the words, “lead them gently.” How appropriate, I thought. I normally am a bit of a drill sergeant, so I took that as a revelation of advice.

Well, today I am overflowing with thankfulness, that my children are thankful for their existence in a home that doesn’t involve a bus, where they don’t know that you could get an F, only that if it’s not right, you do it again. They are doing their work cheerfully and without complaining! Yeah! All that time of planning their own days with minimal requirements has led them to appreciate my productive schedule. They are enjoying watching their brains work! Yahoo!!

In all this entertaining and serving, we’ve been talking about usefulness. If they want to be useful and serve God in a useful way, then they have to learn to persevere. Last night my 10-year-old was eager to help with salad prep for a mission dinner at church. After his job was done, I was still working on cookies and bars. The salad looked great, washed, spun and included little carrot shavings, but the floor was covered in lettuce and the counter was still full of mess. Have you ever thought you just couldn’t have another discussion about how to do a job right? I seem to think it daily, but the converse is that you will have to do it yourself FOREVER! One of my visions for homeschooling is that I will be able to send my kids to serve in local or foreign missions and that they will be able to KNOW how to do a job right, so they can be counted on. Of course, this would help them stay employed as well.

Over in Mom-world, I have a new Mac. My HP laptop continued to freeze and I couldn’t connect with the world. Oh NO! In the new year, I’ve abandoned my time consuming computerized homeschool tracking programs. The Mac has a great calendar feature iCal that allows me to overlay each kid’s schedule, and mine at will. I can block time for each activity and link any documents or websites to that day’s appointment. So, if I want to add details of the day I can, but sometimes, less is more. Our books lay out the agenda, why should I track it all too.

Happy New Year to you as I am enjoying the “peace that surpasses all understanding.”

What's in Your Emotional Suitcase?

Do you have a child who drives you crazy? Does your child continually annoy you?  No, probably not.  But, do you annoy YOURSELF when you don't show them the grace and love that God shows you?   

A simple daily activity like math can be a reminder of the fear of failure you felt as a child.   Sometimes we snap and bite at our kids not because they deserve it, but because we have unresolved anger and bitterness that is triggered by something they do.  Our own hurts are hurting our children and their children... and their children.

It is critical that we “come clean” of the hurts and hostilities that still live within us. The things that we’ve done or had done to us are not who we are and they don’t have to continue to cloud our world . If we allow ourselves to accept that God is “crazy about us” then we can truly forgive those who may have caused us emotional damage. Jesus came that we may have life “to the full,” not to the half. Don’t let him take over half you heart, give it all to him.

How can you let go of hurts? Hurts like abuse, rape, feelings of inadequacy, or a lack of love from parents or a spouse.   Some of us may need to seek out a Christian counselor to get deeper into the root of our problems.  Some may not even know they have hurts affecting their behavior.  Here is one way to begin the healing process:

• Go to your Father, your Creator, in quiet. Let him search your soul for the roots of bitterness, anxiety, anger or fear. 
  
• Ask God to show you what needs to be let go. 
  
• Listen with paper and pen in hand. Write down what comes to your head. Write until nothing else comes. 
  
• Read that list.  (If it is too weighty for you alone, seek a counselor.)
  
• Face what is on it.  Forgive and let yourself be forgiven!
  

These are the things you don’t want to pass on to your children. But, sadly, we contaminate our kids lives with the things we carry around, like old luggage full of clothes that don’t fit. Those old things don’t benefit us and they damage the love between parent and child.

We must also forgive ourselves for not making the most of all of our opportunities. Every day is an opportunity and every opportunity a chance to shine for God. Perhaps we are pushing our children to be who we feel we are not.

People are not perfect, God IS perfect. The love of Christ is perfect. It surpasses anything we can imagine, but we can feel it and know it deeply and in a healing way.

Proverbs 14:10
“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.”

God is crazy about you! 

How do we know? 

God wants us to know truth. 

He is incapable of lying. 

This is what Your God says (paraphrasing mine):

John 3:16

“For God SO LOVED the world

• (you and every person in it)
  

that he sent his only begotten Son

• (the Word, present at the time of creation, who changed form to become human and experience our every temptation)
  

so that whoever believes in Him

• (accepts his gift of love, trusts him in their every moment)
  

will not perish

• (nothing can take you away from him)
  

but have eternal life.

• (an abundant life which gets more incredible day by day, and even improves at death, when we come into the the light radiating from a God so holy and loving that we will be overcome with joy and completeness.)
  

Talk with your children.  Ask for their forgiveness for times when you've been unjust. Don’t invite them into all the hurt and restate it for them, just let them know you had some troubles and that Jesus sets us free because he shows us how to forgive.  Your kids are not your enemy.   Satan is your enemy and he'll use whatever bitterness is left in you to pass misery onto future generations.  

You have the keys to that jail cell, now let yourself out!

****************************************************

Inspired by "The Mentoring Mom: 11 Ways to Model Christ for Your Child" by Jackie Kendall. I highly recommend this book to all who want to show your children a pattern that leads to a life walk with God.

Discipline - What Is It Teaching Our Children? Part 1

After the day I had today, trying to bake ahead for Thanksgiving, fitting in a good amount of schoolwork in the morning and delegating housework in the afternoon, the only topic on my mind tonight is DISCIPLINE.   We all need it, some wonder where it went, some aren’t sure they’ve ever done any, but overall, without it, chaos rules and kids run amok.  

Over the years I’ve been to some great conferences and listened to a lot of speakers on this subject.  I’ve read books from Creative Correction, by Lisa Welchel, to the collection of James Dobson’s books.  Everybody’s got an opinion on this subject.  A meeting of the mom-minds while kids play is another great source of information, just be sure to pick moms whose kids seem to be more disciplined than yours do before you adopt their methods.  Another thing to consider when taking parenting advice, is the faith of the giver.  Some discipline purely from a behavioral standpoint while others have the goal of great character in their vision.  Character is key, but for the Christian child, learning to imitate Christ is the ultimate disciplinary vision.  I’m writing this as I am formulating my own list of consequences (visible on a chart) for my kids.  

These things are not punishments, but grooming techniques.  I’ve heard that the punishment ought to fit the crime, but the “crime” is really a weakness your child is struggling with.  Of course, I could also say it is a weakness I’M struggling with.   Each time the child misbehaves, the cause of the misbehavior should be analyzed before the re-training begins.  Anyway,  in the next few weekss I will be working on a chart (that I will publish) that shows ways to combat heavy problems of discipline and respect with faith and character building techniques.  

Before you read that, think about what discipline is, Jesus had disciples, who followed him, learning from him.  When I looked up the word discipline on Websters it had over 12 variations of meaning, but one was thought provoking, “a branch of knowledge or teaching”.   A follower of a movement or philosophy is a disciple.  So, we are not teaching behavior, we’re teaching kids to evaluate why things are important.  The ultimate goal is for them to know believe that you are teaching them good things for a good reason.   Although you may feel like it at times, you aren’t just the neighborhood nag.  (Today I could really empathize with that.)  No, you are a chief engineer and developer of a future nation of passionate disciples who follow something to somewhere for some reason.  Now, wouldn’t it be wise to know what the something was, where it was going and why you’re doing it?  It’s also a lot easier to stick with a method of discipline if you are convinced of those three things.  I’ve certainly tried discipline methods that I was not convinced were from a source worthy of my time or attention, but desperate parents do those kinds of things.  

I will pre-advise you that my discipline chart will not be just a number of spankings or minutes in the corner for a certain offense.  It will be meant to inspire you (and me) to be the mentor  our children need to know why we behave as Jesus commanded (and mom, when they don’t know enough about that).  Stay tuned.  I am anxious to share my methods of inspiring discipline with you as you learn to seek truth instead of punishment. 

If you have great ideas that have produced great kids, please feel free to email me with them.   There’s nothing like sharing our experiences and learning from one another.  

Blessings, Anne

Bless Your Children Daily - It worked in the Bible!

Tonight I was the sole parent and, as usual, was looking forward to my quiet time. The three-year-old was put to bed first. After that, I went into the older boys room and we read about how Gideon was to defeat the Midianites. God told Gideon to reduce his army of 22,000 down to 300. Sounds like something a democrat would do, hey? Anyway, God wanted to be sure that it was well known that He was the one who gave Gideon the victory, it was not of themselves. I then gave them 10 minutes to play a game on their MP3 player and went into the hall. I could hear a voice coming from the 3-year-old's room. I went in to start his music box to get him to sleep and he said, "Mom! I'm talking to God!" Of course, I told him he could do that as long as he wanted, and left the room.

In the hall, I thought about this child and his faith journey. Before we had him (between child 2 and 5), we watched a daughter walk home with Jesus and then lost another baby before Jack zoomed into our lives. Through those years, I sought God's wisdom daily, hourly, trying to make sense of the tragedies that seem to be attracted to us. When Jack arrived, he was perfect. I was thankful and knew he was like the Joseph of the 21st century. I'd guess Joseph was potty trained, but there are some similarities anyway. Throughout the Bible, God records people blessing other people. Blessings were a powerful and sought after possession, and also had permanent ramifications for the ones who got, and the ones who failed to get. Sadly, as parents, we don't have as much wisdom for the first child as we do later on, but Jack came in the blessing phase of my Bible study life, when I'd realized this power. Since the day he was born, I have blessed him every night. I must confess, that in the beginning, my motives as a sleep-deprived, over-nursed, sore mother were to get this kid to sleep, so the blessing went more like this, "Jack, I bless you with tired, heavy eyes, tired arms, heavy legs and a sleepy body. May you rest in peace, quickly, and sleep knowing God is always with you." I got more creative after I got more sleep. These blessings soon became the character traits I wanted each child to have. I bless them with wisdom, a love for learning, compassion for others, great faith in Jesus, love for the others, and leadership abilities.. and good health, of course.

As I stood out in the hall, while Jack was busy talking to God, I promptly re-entered the room of the other boys and told them what I'd been doing for Jack more habitually, and that I wanted to bless them more regularly too. I have certainly blessed them before, but re-committed to doing this for them nightly in addition to our regular prayers. My older kids are great, and as I've prayed for them and watched them develop their gifts I can see a great heart of gentleness and compassion in my 8 year old, and great wisdom and faith in my 10 year old. These are not their only gifts, but I am thankful that tonight I've learned how to give good gifts to my children. Not gifts that plug in, but gifts that turn them on to life and passion for God.

Homeschool with Confidence: The Yearly Vision

Throughout an ordinary day, there are many conversations you will have with your child. Some familiar ones may be,

"Is your math finished?"
"Yes, Mom."
"Has your room been cleaned up?"
"Yes, Dad."
"How was your day?"
"Good."

Once in a while, you might want to have an actual brain-interfacing, life-connecting, probing conversation with your child. If that dear child attends school out of your home, you probably face a weary person at the end of the day who just wants to be in control of their time when they get home. All the way home they were probably thinking, "Wow! I can't wait to sit down and have a deep conversation with my Mom or Dad about my character and academic development." Fear not, a listening parent can find opportunities to work in great conversation. Sadly, those moments may not be as often as you desire and for some kids and parents, rare.

The blessing is that we, as homeschoolers, have a little more room to take advantage of these opportunities since we can spend more time interacting with our children. You have the opportunity to initiate fascinating conversations on any subject under the sun -- and you have ALL DAY to do it! The conversation above is still a part of the daily accountability lesson and uses some of our valuable energy, but keep the blessings in mind as all the talking and reading sends you to the secret stash of chocolate chips in the pantry. Let's face it, everyday life is distracting, busy and tiring. It often keeps us from slowing down, listening and parenting with purpose -- in an intentional way.

If you are a homeschooler your kids may be facing a very weary mom at the end of the day. If you don't have great confidence in the plan you've chosen for the year or the day wasn't filled with all the inspiration you'd expected the night before, you may also feel a bit hopeless at the end of the day and perhaps defeated. This has certainly happened to me, but prayer and vision for my kids has put new light on our direction as a family and for me as a leader. I say leader, not just because I'm still the tallest one home all day, but because I have the potential to make change and direct with wisdom, love and of course, complete control at ALL times (don't be defeated at that bit of sarcasm).

To keep myself on a confident path, once each year I spend one to two months revisiting the way I'm leading my kids. It takes that long (or longer). I really believe that only through observing your children, reflecting, praying and waiting can I know how to go on with their education and mentoring. If you haven't found a way to work through your visionary roadblocks, you may want to get out your planner and dedicate some time (alone time is ultimate of course) to a visionary beginning. It can be a few minutes in prayer each night, or a weekend away at a quiet inn. Telling your husband that you need a visionary weekend to assess the success of your efforts and plan for your children's lives is always a good way to get that needed alone time! How could anyone say no to that? When I've found my quiet place, I write down and pray about are:

• How has each child changed or grown over the past year?
• What are their strengths and weaknesses in their academic life?
• What are their spiritual strengths and weaknesses?
• What gifts do I see emerging?
• What is their attitude toward learning, toward faith and life as a whole?
• What have we done that has encouraged them in any area?

What did we let "fall of the map" and are their consequences associated with that?
This is your chance to know that your choices were made for a reason. When chaos strikes, you can "refer to your notes" with confidence that at one time, on one day, you really did seek the Master's plan for how you are living this day, today. I spend time praying for insight about my children, about what the Master has created them for. I pray He would show me what their lives might look like if they used their unique gifts to His full advantage. The Bible says that "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." This tells us that we are created in Christ, he is a full part of who we are now. Your child is not only your child, but Christ living inside your child. How do you lead that? It is a humbling experience. Fortunately, God gives us some tools to communicate with him on how this can be done. We have the Bible to give us great guidelines, but also our senses and prayer to personalize our parenting for each child.

A proverb says "Train up a child in the way that he should go," but there is more to that than teaching them the 10 Commandments, right from wrong and even who their Savior is. It requires probing their heart, entering their mind and exploring their passions! God gave them those things. He is the master with the artists brush! He "equipped them for every good work" and according to Paul's letter to the Ephesians, God prepared us in advance for those works. What your children need to be God's best is already inside of them.

What is "God's best" for your child? That can be an overwhelming task to figure out. Do we want them to be the best in math? -- It wouldn't hurt. Do we want them to be spelling masters? -- My husband has been highly successful without that skill. Perhaps you want your child to be in ministry. Notice a common thread here? "Do we want...." Sometimes we rely on too much human wisdom and knowledge in the choices we make for our children. Have you ever read a great book, but felt left out of certain details that just leave you wondering? The author is only source for those answers. As humans, the author of our being, of each purposefully created soul, is the only one with the answers for the guidance you seek.

So, after the list has been made and the praying has been done, the listening begins. Facing our jobs in an honest way is what makes all great leaders. As parents, we hold the future in our hands and daily wipe the melted chocolate chips, jelly and peanut butter off of "it". With a listening spirit and an intuitive heart you can effectively change the direction of the life of your child. You are now ready to made decisions for your child and can:
Choose a school or curriculum that fits their unique being.
Encourage and provide opportunities for them in their areas of giftedness and passion.
Help them understand their weaknesses and how to work around them.
Provide the level of structure necessary for them to work efficiently to their maximum potential.
The great benefit of parenting this way is that you will find more peace and confidence in your decisions. You will find you are less swayed by the opinions of others because that "page of wisdom" shows you who your child is and is becoming.

A few books that have had an influence in growing my understanding and passion for parenting in this manner have been:
Revolutionary Parenting by George Barna
The Treasure Inside Your Child by Pamela Farrell
A Biblical Home Education by Ruth Beechik

Why would anyone homeschool their children? (Part One)

Remember when you told people you wanted to homeschool your children? Maybe it was just yesterday, perhaps 20 years ago, or you may still be considering this radical, counter cultural way to raise children. Of course the first people you tell are often those whose kids are all in school, or they are teachers with "credentials and qualifications" in their area of specialty (which is usually teaching all subjects to many types of kids). When you do tell them, you will usually face at least one of these questions from at least one of these people:

"You're going to do WHAT?"

"Do you have a teaching degree?"

"How do you know what to teach them?"

"How can you properly 'socialize' them?" (I couldn't resist throwing that little bit of insanity in.)

Have you ever wanted or dared to turn the table on them and ask some of these questions:

"What's the vision you have for each individual child you'll have in your class next year? You do have a vision for their lives don't you? I'm sure it takes into account the uniqueness of their gifts and personalities, right?"

"How do you keep them from being 'socialized' while in your institution?"

"How do you assure that the teachers who get them next year understand what you've learned about them this year? How many new teachers will they have anyway?"

"My child isn't interested in anything but airplanes. Do you think you could build a curriculum around that? If you did, I'm sure he would soak up every subject that it touched on."

Now, let's have a reality check. This is not how 99% of schools work. Yes, I made up that statistic, so write me if you have a list that adds up to more than 1% of the schools in America. On a tough day, I may read that list and dream of shipping them to one of those. But really, every year, I answer these questions, ask myself how my kids are turning out, sigh over the days I felt I just couldn't go on and smile about the days my kids did something that amazed me in spite of myself. I remember that my kids are MY kids. Outside of God, no one cares more that they find their passion and gifts early than I do (no offense to dads, but they don't always take this whole endeavor as personally as we mom's do).

When I began homeschooling, I had so much cultural "unlearning" to do. I knew a few homeschoolers who'd inspired me over the years to try this unique and unpopular way of life. But, they were not in my town. As I combed books I finally found a book that completely change my way of understanding mass education, John Taylor Gatto's "Underground History of American Education" (http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/underground/). You can read the entire book online, for free and it's full of facts, falacies about institutionalized education and raw experience that kept me up until the we hours of the morning glaring at the computer screen. Mr. Gatto was a public school teacher of 30 years who wrote an article for the Wall Street Journal entitled, "I Quit, I Think," following which, he resigned.

When people ask me what it's like to homeschool, there are many answers people will give, because there are many ways of doing it. Some people give blissful answers about the joy of togetherness, some look bewildered and wonder how to explain a whole different way of life in 100 words or less, but one of my new answers is, "It's the best parental improvement program around." You will (are forced to) gain patience, wisdom, and suffer injustice (or get a baby sitter once in a while). You may plan great ideas only to be persecuted in the morning (kids don't always know what's best for them). You'll certainly have to do an insane amount of talking and, after a challenging day, you may need to retreat to your room with a snack to reinforce your "vision" with favorite homeschooling author to redirect you passion for your job. But alas, when all seems lost (usually once a month), there are those miracles that bewilder even the most distraught mother. On one of my worst days (once a month), after I'd lost my cool and said things I regretted, my oldest son (age 10) came over to give me a hug, rubbed my arm and said, "You're the best mom in the whole world." I replied shamefully, negatively and tearfully, "Why do you say that?" He smiled, "Because it's true!" -- I do love getting to know my kids and surviving (oops) thriving with them daily.