After the day I had today, trying to bake ahead for Thanksgiving, fitting in a good amount of schoolwork in the morning and delegating housework in the afternoon, the only topic on my mind tonight is DISCIPLINE. We all need it, some wonder where it went, some aren’t sure they’ve ever done any, but overall, without it, chaos rules and kids run amok.
Over the years I’ve been to some great conferences and listened to a lot of speakers on this subject. I’ve read books from Creative Correction, by Lisa Welchel, to the collection of James Dobson’s books. Everybody’s got an opinion on this subject. A meeting of the mom-minds while kids play is another great source of information, just be sure to pick moms whose kids seem to be more disciplined than yours do before you adopt their methods. Another thing to consider when taking parenting advice, is the faith of the giver. Some discipline purely from a behavioral standpoint while others have the goal of great character in their vision. Character is key, but for the Christian child, learning to imitate Christ is the ultimate disciplinary vision. I’m writing this as I am formulating my own list of consequences (visible on a chart) for my kids.
These things are not punishments, but grooming techniques. I’ve heard that the punishment ought to fit the crime, but the “crime” is really a weakness your child is struggling with. Of course, I could also say it is a weakness I’M struggling with. Each time the child misbehaves, the cause of the misbehavior should be analyzed before the re-training begins. Anyway, in the next few weekss I will be working on a chart (that I will publish) that shows ways to combat heavy problems of discipline and respect with faith and character building techniques.
Before you read that, think about what discipline is, Jesus had disciples, who followed him, learning from him. When I looked up the word discipline on Websters it had over 12 variations of meaning, but one was thought provoking, “a branch of knowledge or teaching”. A follower of a movement or philosophy is a disciple. So, we are not teaching behavior, we’re teaching kids to evaluate why things are important. The ultimate goal is for them to know believe that you are teaching them good things for a good reason. Although you may feel like it at times, you aren’t just the neighborhood nag. (Today I could really empathize with that.) No, you are a chief engineer and developer of a future nation of passionate disciples who follow something to somewhere for some reason. Now, wouldn’t it be wise to know what the something was, where it was going and why you’re doing it? It’s also a lot easier to stick with a method of discipline if you are convinced of those three things. I’ve certainly tried discipline methods that I was not convinced were from a source worthy of my time or attention, but desperate parents do those kinds of things.
I will pre-advise you that my discipline chart will not be just a number of spankings or minutes in the corner for a certain offense. It will be meant to inspire you (and me) to be the mentor our children need to know why we behave as Jesus commanded (and mom, when they don’t know enough about that). Stay tuned. I am anxious to share my methods of inspiring discipline with you as you learn to seek truth instead of punishment.
If you have great ideas that have produced great kids, please feel free to email me with them. There’s nothing like sharing our experiences and learning from one another.
Blessings, Anne
