Showing posts with label understanding your child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label understanding your child. Show all posts

Monday, February 16

Scrapping the Daily List Today

"Seek first the kingdom of God and ALL these things will be added unto you." Matthew 6:33

I’ve come to learn, but not always trust, that if we seek God first in our lives and, specifically, in our day our experience will be better than when we plan our day on our own. Why? Our attitudes change. Our minds are open to His purpose for us. Everything we do reflects the bigger goal and we learn to be who HE has planned for us to be. Ephessians 2:10 says that we were created as God’s workmanship and that He already has things planned for us to do. What do we need to learn to do those things? One gift we have as homeschoolers is the flexibility to allow our kids to follow life according to their passions. Ultimately, our passions motivate us more than any person can.

There are days I trust this and there are days that, although I know this, I panic a bit. I may compare my children’s handwriting to those of their peers and judge them, as if this were the measure God would use to judge their success. The truth is, that to force handwriting when a child is running in another direction is counter-productive to the learning that COULD be achieved if you watched God work and did what he commanded you to do.

I'll show you an example of how a day went that didn't include my forcing my children in a direction against their interests. I did have a list, a neat list of well rounded activities for an entire week for each kid. On it was our study of creation, history, science, Latin, handwriting, math, piano, reading, you get the picture. Here’s how the day really went....

Breakfast... Pancakes. We talked about conserving and rationing as we shared the last 1/4 cup of syrup between us. With our pancakes we listened to one of my favorite hymns of all time on YouTube, “When I Survey the Wonderful Cross”. Next, we grabbed the postcard of the books of the Bible we’re working on memorizing. I’m a bit of an evangelist, so I gave them a pep talk on the importance of knowing what God’s word says, focusing on how science and the world CAN work together with God's word to bring people TO faith and not away from it. After explaining their responsibilities as Christians to lead the world and not follow it’s ways, they ran off and saying they wanted to read their Bible all day.

So, rather than lose them upstairs I got out a selection of new Bible study books for them to pick. They wanted to talk more about evolution vs. creation, so they picked a Kay Arthur for Kids study of Genesis 1-2. In this, I got a discussion in about reading comprehesion (who, what, where, why and when), writing a good title, drawing a picture describing what they understood about the lesson and then we read Genesis 1-2, taking turns reading aloud. It’s now 9:30, we started breakfast at 8:00.

My 10-year-old son is a very passion driven child. I had a choice.. I could stifle his now flaming interest in studying this more by getting math out or ask him where he wanted to go with it. He said he was going to write a paper disproving evolution. (Ambitious I thought, and in faith continued to encourage him.) I know I can learn more when I'm passionate about something, so, therefore, would he. We scrapped the list.

He went to the bookshelf and grabbed books to support his work. I looked at his selections and sat him down to talk about what a hypothesis is, since he was jumping into a large field of study. His eager brain needed a bit of focus and he actually saw it my way! This also led to a discussion of a source list and the importance of multiple sources in a debate. We talked about how debates work and how, if he wants to use this information to lead others to his side he needs to make sure all things point back to the hypothesis.

Now, imagine the difference between a conversation with an interested (even driven) child and one who is being “assigned” something and knows he must do it. Today I was blessed to work with a driven child. His "ADHD" like mind was fully engaged. He continued researching for three hours, listening to guidance as if he knew it would make a difference. For you homeschool moms who have tried to force learning, as I have on occasion, this can truly be a Kleenex moment! (Please note: I am not a believer in labeling kids with ADHD, but use this adjective because it seems to be connected with this driven, passionate personality type and many would medicate my child.)

Meanwhile, I forgot about the 8 year old. I track him down and he’s been reading the Bible aloud to his rabbits and is not ready to stop yet. When he drifts upstairs we get out “Night of the Moonjellies” and enjoy a good story together. We do have a 3-year-old, but at story time he is too busy listening to the Star Wars soundtrack and having adventures with a little one inch Lego man. He takes off.

I made some bread for dinner and put chicken soup ingredients in the crock pot. We had a little lunch and after that watched a video on the forces of water. This is also not on the list, but part of creation. A friend called and invited the kids over. There they spent the afternoon drawing a map of Europe and other imaginary countries. At home, the drawing continued into the evening as I read the last few chapters of “Trial by Poison”, a biographical adventure about Mary Slessor, missionary to the area which is now Nigeria.

I am writing this, because these are my favorite days. Sadly, it wasn't always like this. There have been days I have fallen prey to the incredible societal pressure to do things according to some systematic educational model. I write this to encourage you and myself. God knows what your children need to learn. Seek him first and he will direct your path. There are days I will need to reread this when I feel defeated, when I don’t know how I’m going to accomplish “educating” my children for many more years. Those are the days I've talked to some parents who are worrying about choosing the right curriculum or read an article on getting kids to sit and follow your plan. We must all remember that God knows what they need to know and while intelligent plans can make for good order, sometimes you just need to scrap the plan and open your mind to a way that accomplishes more!

Thursday, November 20

What do you want to be when you grow up?

What do you want for your children as they grow into adulthood? When you envision them in the future how do you see them? As a Christian homeshooling family, the vision we have for our children's future affects everything we do, every book we read, what we choose to learn, every show we watch and every decision we make about how to spend our time.

A year ago, after I had spent time in prayer seeking what God wanted for my oldest son, I wrote this letter to him. He's 10 now and nearing the time when he may be ready to read it. Here is my faith prayer for my son. (I omitted the name so you could more easily envision your own child as you read it.)

My Dear Son,

As you develop into the person God created you to be, I pray you would open your heart to God's leading in every moment, that your will and your attitudes would be in submission to the LORD. As we learn together daily about the way God has directed life on our earth and every movement of every atom, may you know his plan for you is more than you can ever imagine it to be. It's bigger than the biggest idea you've ever had. Your talents have more potential than you will ever use, because we are so limited by our own lack of vision and true faith.

Now I see you serving God each day in your heart, but stumbling over small things as you get to know yourself. You were fearfully and wonderfully made, Son. There is no mistake in any part of your creation. As we spend each day together I hope to help you find out how to maximize your potential to do great things for God.

Through prayer, I hope you will quiet yourself to listen, and not always be talking.

Through solitude, I hope you will find a place to calm your soul and your
emotions.

Through scripture, you will fill yourself with the knowledge of what God has done and what he will do and with the passion God has placed inside you.  You will fill the world with joy and ignite a vision for what God can do in the lives of others.

Through serving others, you will be the hands and feet of Christ and know the greatest fulfillment, more than any gadget or toy can bring. I know you know that already, for I've seen you sacrifice something easily when you learn it will not please God or help you become closer to him.

When you face trials, you'll remember the struggles we shared daily and our talks about how just putting a foot forward and taking a step in faith will change every circumstance and help you bring your thoughts back into the obedience of Christ.

Prayer should be a continuous conversation with God. With your every thought, may you walk side-by-side with Him through His spirit. Spend your every moment in continuous conversation with God and you will always hear his voice. When you face the trials that will perfect your faith, face them on your knees with his Word in front of you. Don't let Satan's lies cloud who you really are. Believe in what God will do through you, even when you have tears blinding you.

God gave you to me for a short while. My job was to guide you and love you. To show you that an imperfect mom can love you a lot, but not nearly as much as the one who planned every atom of your being and every desire of your heart. Every day you grow and move closer to God as your guide and further from me.

What will you be like as an adult? I pray you will know who God created you to be so that your gifts will be a blessing to the world. Whatever you do, may you always know that loving people is important over all other things. Money is a blessing and a responsibility. If you strive for it, don't do it out of a lust for things, but out of a lust to give it away. God says we are to enjoy life, but the greatest joy is in seeing people connect with God and find their place with him. You will be able to show them that steadfast faith. Your faith will overcome the thorn you struggle with, because God is able to do all things and you'll believe that.

Love, Your Mom
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You are welcome to adopt my prayer for my child for your own child. I encourage you to pray for wisdom to recognize the unique passions and gifts God has put into your child, for they are the key to seeing what he or she may become. As you come to better understand your child's unique personality and gifts, you can direct him or her in how to use them to bless the world and write them their own prayer letter. This letter is to my oldest. This would not be the same letter I'd write to my other children, who have their own unique passions and abilities. They each bring their own unique joy to my life and I love them all.